March 31, 2016

Potty Training – The Truth

We are a week in and I’ve survived, just about. My house stinks, I’ve bleached the hell out of numerous potties, gone through about 50 packets of wipes and toilet rolls and lost count of the times I’ve steam mopped the floors but we are getting there. Slowly but surely.

Potty training and chicken pox are my parenting arch nemesis’s. Give me sleepless nights, stinky nappies and teething any day – pots and pox send shivers down my spine. But with the girls third birthday rapidly approaching I decided it was about time we got the ball rolling.

Charlie was easy as pie to potty train. He was sorted within a week and nights quickly followed – simple, magic touch eh? WRONG. How very very wrong.


In the space of seven days here is my summary so far: (more…)

March 15, 2016

The Fear of Parents Evening

As I write this, I am a few hours way from my son’s parents evening. We have had a sneak preview this year and had his school report the week before so I know how he’s getting on (brag-a-saurus Mom moment – he’s doing bloody AWESOME) but Parents Evening still fills me with a certain sense of dread. Why you may wonder, with a pretty decent report under his belt it’ll be all plain sailing? Well you are faced with your first hurdle

  • Looking at their books
    Charlie has a news book in which each week they are asked what they do at the weekend. Days out, sleepovers, trips to the library, practising spellings – all the stuff you want them to tell the teachers so they think you’re top notch parent (after all it’s not just your kids that are being scored here) NEVER make it to this bleedin’ news book. Page after page of “I played on my Grandad’s tablet” “I watched TV” “We had a takeaway” Yes all the not so perfect aspects always make it into this book. Hell, one week we had been to most children’s mecca ALTON TOWERS yet the trip on the way home to Macdonalds made the book. Mutter mutter.

(more…)

January 22, 2016

37 Things My Toddler Daughter Threw a Tantrum Over Yesterday

  1. I gave her the breakfast she asked for
  2. I didn’t put the light on quick enough
  3. I put her shoes on the right feet
  4. The tv was too loud
  5. She couldn’t hear the tv
  6. The tv was then again too loud
  7. Her sister had the yellow spoon
  8. Her milk didn’t taste like milk
  9. She was tired
  10. She didn’t want to go bed
  11. Her sock hurt
  12. She wanted a green pen not orange/blue/pink/yellow/grey/black/red/purple/brown/white that she had 
  13. She wanted to open the car door whilst I was driving
  14. She didn’t like my hair in a ponytail
  15. I wouldn’t let her watch Same Smile continuously for four hours
  16. I coughed
  17. Brawling with her twin to sit on my lap which resulted in kicking and crying 
  18. No feasible reason 
  19. She didn’t want her coat on to go out in two degree weather 
  20. Her glove fell off 
  21. She didn’t want her hair brushed
  22. She didn’t want her teeth brushed
  23. She didn’t like the first fifteen tops I got out the wardrobe for her
  24. She wanted the blue socks
  25. When I said we don’t own blue socks
  26. She wanted her lunch at 9.40am
  27. At midday she didn’t want lunch she wanted a snack 
  28. She doesn’t like cheese anymore
  29. Her fruit was touching the side of the plate 
  30. She had done a poo
  31. She didn’t want her nappy changed
  32. She didn’t like her trousers she had picked out four hours ago
  33. There was a spider. Apparently.
  34. Her dad came home
  35. The tv was turned off
  36. She didn’t like her bed sheet 
  37. I took too long to give her a kiss goodnight as was dealing with her equally irrational twin sister

I am so grey it is untrue. 

B xx 

 

Why Is January So Crap?

Four days in, and it’s still acceptable to wish family, friends, colleagues and strangers walking their dogs Happy New Year. Yes new …