The Body Positivity Movement – What If You Don’t Fit in?

17th June 2019

“Beach ready” “Get that bikini bod” “Love the skin you’re in” “Be BoPo”

These are constant messages that I see splashed across social media everywhere. In the wake of the Nike plus size mannequin uproar, body positivity (or BoPo as it has been coined) yet again is thrust to the forefront – with completely differing messages. This January, there seemed to be a huge backlash against the dieting industry with women chanting the “new year, same old me” mantra. Anyone who posted about dieting, seemed to be knocked down instantly and it didn’t sit right with me. I’m all for everyone having their own agenda, their own personal crusade but when people don’t respect others and verbally attack and go out of their way to abuse others for their choice, then surely that’s hardly being positive?

My relationship with my body is a love-hate tussle every day. I’ve made no secret that over the last three and a half years I have been a member of Slimming World, yet the past few months I’ve pretty much stopped and boy do my jeans know about it. I have days where I absolutely adore being able to eat anything and everything as and when I like, however for me Slimming World isn’t so much about losing weight. It’s about controlling myself. I have no self control. I know that sounds completely and utterly pathetic as a 33 year old woman but I haven’t. Once I start, I can’t stop and Slimming World seems to be the only way I can manage the amount of crap I eat. I have tried and tried for years to stop this urge to eat and I’m sure many people would be quick to jump to tell me a million reasons why I stuff my face, but honestly I do it just because I think I can and just want to eat.

I don’t vomit whilst “binge” eating and definitely do not have an eating disorder, I just have a really large appetite and capability to eat a hell of a lot of food. Years gone by, I could do this and realistically it never had much bearing on my weight as I had a really good metabolism but since having the girls, my body has drastically changed (physically as well as my metabolism) and it’s resulted in me piling on the pounds really easily.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl06zy4lYtF/

Last summer, I weighed the lowest I had in years and I went on holiday feeling utterly amazing. I was absolutely owning body positivity and loving the way I look. I shared photos of me rocking my bikini and honestly felt happy and healthy. But does it last? Am I a fraud for sharing the highs but not the lows? My worst eating usually happens when the kids are off school and we head off on days out where I hate to be a misery and indulge with them. I often find myself easily gaining a stone across the summer months. I shared an image of me post summer and I sometimes feel when I share stuff like this, that there will be some knob thinking I’m fishing for compliments. I often feel with social media you can’t win. Once it’s out there, you open yourself up to criticism whether it be directly in the comments or screen-shotted and passed around private messaging groups.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BY6U6OZDllM/

I sit here now at a weight I am not happy with. I am not as hateful as I usually would be and for me, that is body positivity. I have stopped going to a weekly weigh in group (mainly because I have other commitments meaning I cannot attend) but I am now trying to focus on feeling good and being happy in my clothes. However, my clothes are that bit too tight so I know I want to lose some weight around my tummy so I feel better instead of being cut in half by my jeans! For me, this is progress. I am trying not to be obsessed or defined by a number on the scales but I know that I need to try harder. I question if I do need kick up the arse to get me back into the zone, but with my arch nemesis – the summer- coming up, I know this is easier said than done. I am looking to rejoin the gym, as this above anything else puts my head in the right place. I want to be fitter and healthier and exercising promotes both of these things. I quit a while back and am ready to embrace some exercise.

I don’t feel body positive 90% of the time, but I am slowly changing ther way I think about my body and the way I look so for me, that is progress.

  • Donna 17th June 2019 at 1:31 pm

    I love this post Beth. I wrote last week about how I felt everyone should be allowed to strive for a healthier/slimmer/’better’ body, one that makes them happy without fearing backlash because of it. I’m not body positive at all at the moment so I can relate so much x

  • Emma Walton 18th June 2019 at 7:02 am

    This was a great post, a very enjoyable read, thanks.

  • Margaret Gallagher 18th June 2019 at 1:21 pm

    Great read – took me years to be body positive ( im like a skinny beanpole )
    Most days im happy with my look
    Has positives – I can fit in teenager clothes

  • Laura Wheatley 18th June 2019 at 5:35 pm

    Great post and so very true, I have spent so many years battling with myself over how I look <3

  • Fiona jk42 26th June 2019 at 10:52 pm

    I empathise with you. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and not put on weight, but over the past few years that has changed. I definitely have a problem with self-control, so I am trying one of the meal replacement plans, as otherwise I find it hard to stick to the recommended portion sizes.

  • kris mc 2nd July 2019 at 8:59 am

    Great post here with a really important message

  • James Travis 2nd July 2019 at 5:33 pm

    Great post here, a really useful read

  • Susan B 3rd July 2019 at 3:25 pm

    A thoughtful post and one which all women can relate to at one time or another. Good luck with your journey.

  • Margaret Gallagher 6th July 2019 at 11:39 am

    We are what we are – celebrate who you are not what others think we should be

  • Chloe Taylor 6th July 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Fabulous post. we should all try and be positive and feel grateful for what our body does for us . I’ve just been discharged from mental health services as I’m anorexic, and trying to have a good relationship with food and my body x

  • Naila M 7th July 2019 at 11:58 am

    Important for people to be happy on how they look and not look down on themselves. Great post 🙂

  • Carly Belsey 8th July 2019 at 3:45 am

    I am exactly the same as you. I eat because I want to eat although sometimes I do comfort eat but that’s mainly around the time of the month when I feel like PMT is kicking in! I have absolutely no willpower. I have been asked 3 times in the last year if I am pregnant!!!! I have a strange figure where my arms and legs are quite slim and my weight goes on my belly so in certain dresses I do look pregnant but god damn it, dont ever ask a woman that unless you are sure!! I am learning to accept my body, it gave me two healthy children and that’s all that matters at the moment. Life is too short to worry about how we look, just enjoy it but exercise and get a balance that way

  • Nadia Josephine 8th July 2019 at 9:59 am

    I have trouble with positivity, but I see that lots of people struggle too. Maybe it is time we started being kinder to ourselves and this will make us healthier all round

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