As I have mentioned a billion times, my twin daughters are due to start full time school this September. They turn four next month, so will be one of the younger ones in their year but they are more than ready. They currently spend every afternoon at the nursery attached to the school so are familiar with the building and the routines so I am hoping come September it’ll be an absolute breeze for them. But for me it’s going to be a very different situation.

How Can You Be A Stay At Home Mum When Your Kids Are At School?

In September, my stay at home Mum title expires. I will be at home full-time, but my children won’t be. I will still continue to drop off at 8.45am but I will be coming home to an empty house. There won’t be two little hellbats running around causing chaos like there has been for the past four years. I am staying at home with no one to parent. I keep wondering myself how can I be a stay at home parent; does my title now become “unemployed?” housewife?” “jobless bum?”

How Can You Be A Stay At Home Mum When Your Kids Are At School?

I am constantly asked if/when I will get a job. People seemed to do this as soon as the girls started nursery but when I pointed out that I actually am only really available from 1pm until 3pm therefore not very employable, they backed off. But as we hurtle towards school, the questions are more frequent and my answers aren’t that easy to give. I constantly feel like I ned to justify myself.

When asked what I do, I feel the need to explain my situation and that people automatically assume I’m lazy or will be claiming benefits. I have always worked. From when I left college, within weeks I took on a temporary job at the local Council typing up fraud tapes. I then went to processing housing applications and never left. I applied and was appointed as a full-time Housing Officer where I then went on to complete a degree in the field. Yet when I became pregnant with twins and childcare was not an option due to my Mother’s cancer diagnosis and extortionate nursery fees for two babies, I opted for voluntary redundancy. I had worked at my career for 8 years and gave it all up.

I don’t regret it for one second as I have been so privileged to be able to raise my babies. To drop Charlie off at school every day, to see all his plays, sports days and assemblies. To be able to dash and pick him up if needed. To have the luxury to take my girls out as and when with no restrictions. I have been so lucky, yet as they grow older I am now on my own. Four years without a career is hard. Even contemplating going back to work is an alien concept. Plus regardless of me being free Monday to Friday 9am until 3pm, what happens in school holidays? Sickness? PD Days? We do not have the option of family childcare and childcare for six weeks for three children surely wouldn’t be financially beneficial.

I am angry. Angry that I have let myself feel so belittled when people suggest that I should get a job. Angry that they presume because I don’t, I will be sucking the system dry. I am angry there is such a stigma. I am angry that no matter what you do, someone feels the need to make you feel like crap.

I went back to work after having Charlie so know what it’s like to be a working parent. I also know what it’s like to be a stay at home parent. But I don’t know what it’s like to stay home without babies around you.

I am dreading September.

B x

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Three years ago today was the last time I saw or spoke to my Mom. Three years since she took her last breath. Three years since I could see her, hold her hand, tell her I love her. Three years have passed and so much has changed in these three years.

I miss my Mom more than I could ever describe. We had such a close bond that it will be impossible to ever get over the loss I’ve experienced. I will never be able to full accept that at 28 I was left Motherless. My five year old and ten month old twins lost their Granny and our family was changed forever.

Three years have passed, but I don’t feel the crushing sadness I did three years ago. All everyone seemed to say was that time would help and I couldn’t;t understand why they were saying it. No time was ever going to help. The only thing that would help would be her back here and that it was all a horrible dream. But you know what? It does help.

I no longer feel as angry and whilst I still have that horrific thud in my chest where I feel short of breath and my eyes leak in utter devastation at how much I miss her – these are not as frequent as they once were.

In typing this, I feel like I am admitting I’ve got over he death and it’s time to move on. I’m not. It reads as though I[‘m forgetting her – I’m not. Not at all. I think of my Mom now more than ever, but the difference is I smile in doing so. I feel so lucky that I had such a fantastic Mom and so many wonderful memories to last a lifetime. My Mom got to see me get married and stood beside me on my wedding day. She got to meet and love her three beautiful Grandchildren that were the apple of her eye. I feel privileged to be her daughter.

There are times when I am lost. When I’d give anything in the world to turn to her for advice then I realise – I have her instinct. Her intuition and I know that whilst I lost her wisdom far too prematurely, she instilled it all in me. I learnt from the best and I am able to apply it to my children. Except the having friends over _ I always said when I had kids I’d let them have their friends over whenever they wanted – proved you wrong Mother!!

At the age of 59, my Mom was too young to die. She had so much to live for and with my babies off to school in September, it would have given us the opportunity to strengthen our bond. She would have stood beside me giving me the strength to wave them off onto their big journey. On that day, somewhere I know she will be thinking exactly the same as me, whilst bursting with pride. Her baby’s babies off to school. How old are we all getting?!

Grief has gotten easier but the loss still stings. I don’t ever want it to stop stinging and know it won’t because that signifies the colossal impact she had on our lives. Three years ago our world fell down around us, yet here we are. Standing strong, smiling and being guided by the best one of all.

B xx

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As you read this, I’ll be in the car on my way to Blackpool! I decided that I would pack the kids up and go on an adventure. Minus the husband. I have decided that No Fear Parenting is the way forward.

You see, my girls will be 4 in around 8 weeks time and whilst they still love a good old tantrum, life with twins is starting to feel, dare I say it outloud, easier? They go off and entertain each other and love to make up games so I am often left as a spare part. Throw big brother into the mix, and they’re set. There’s is still lots of bickering but they do all get on really well and love to spend time with each other.

No Fear Parenting

With a two week Easter holiday spanning and my husband about to go CRAZY at work meaning he’s going to be away loads and not have any time off, I decided on a whim to book us a hotel stay. I have never taken the kids away overnight on my own before so it’s either going to go one of two ways.

FRICKIN AWESOME

I am going to come away feeling like Supermom having survived a trip away with three kids and a 5.5hour round trip to the Las Vegas of the North. We will all giggle, scream and have so much fun riding rollercoasters, walking down the beach and spying the tower. It will be the way forward and no dear parenting will well ands truly be activated. Or

I WILL HAVE A MELTDOWN

There’ll be tears, tantrums and probably a Mom glugging wine in the bathroom as flying solo proves all too much when everyone wants to do different things and I haven’t got enough arms or patience to cope with them all.

I really am hoping for numero uno and we can all come home happy but you never know. It’ll be a good experiment and hopefully be the start of some fun times in the future.

Wish me luck!

B xx

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Despite being 5’7, I have ridiculously tiny size 4 feet. They really are dinky but this definitely has its plus points as I can buy cheap kids shoes and trainers.

Yesterday, we went to get the kids feet measured. It seems that small feet seems to be running in the family. I remember Charlie’s feet growing incredibly slowly when he had small and yet again, my girls haven’t gone up. At almost 4, they are still a size 8. However they really need some new shoes for nursery. We were given loads of shoes so have been working our way but they’re still primarily wearing boots a lot so we needed to opt for something more summer-y.

It was rather spooky that when they were measured not only were they the same size as each other, but the same foot was slightly bigger down to the exact millimetre – they really are identical twins!

The girls absolutely loved choosing their shoes and despite having her heart set on a pair of sparkly pink flamingo shoes, they didn’t have them in her width so they both opted (again!) for funky dinosaur pumps. I love Clarks doodles as they are machine washable as I’m anticipating lots of park trips, so they’ll soon be looking filthy!

Charlie too had his feet measured and has only gone up half a size since having his school shoes last August. I’ve ordered him some new trainers as I refuse to pay the extortionate prices for fitted trainers. Sports Direct sell Nike and Adidas for half the price!!

I also got the girls a cheap pair of canvas type shoe just for nursery. They were £6 each so I’m sure they’ll probably not even last two months but you never know. Fashionista kids like mine always like to pick their own clothes so options are always a good idea!

B xx

The Ordinary Moments
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We have made it! We break up for Easter today (massively later than most I know) but it feels good to know that for the next fortnight, it’s going to be nice and chilled out. Well, as chilled as time with an 8 year old and almost 4 year old twins can be!
I’m hoping not to pile too many pounds on over Easter, but the crème and mini eggs already seem to be calling out to me…wish me luck. So onto this weeks #LittleLoves


It’s been a week of trash. I have bought a few trashy celeb mags and wondered why I used to buy them so religiously? Not only are they filled with incredibly contentious “stories” (how do you make a two page spread about a tweet?!) but also made me feel incredibly old as I haven’t a clue who half of them are. Is it time to move over to Bella and Women’s Weekly I wonder…?!?!


As always, I am behind the times. My sister spent all of last week watching Line of Duty like a woman obsessed. She said that the first two series were on Netflix and with a husband at home of the evening for a change, we decided to try one. And now are completely hooked! We finished Series 1 last night – it was SO good and it’s not often that I put my phone down to actually watch a whole episode of anything.
The third and current series is on now, but we are going to watch series two then download series three. I am so impatient I couldn’t;’t wait a week to be able to see the next episode.


Charlie has one of his friends over on Wednesday so I had two incredibly giggly 8 year olds in the house on Wednesday. It was also his school disco last night and I volunteered to help out on the sweet stall. It was so lovely to see how polite so many of the kids were not to mention a free FOAM disco in the background. Seriously, they had a DJ that had foam and a TV screen! I’m sure our school discos were played out of a CD player! Luckily this morning, it’s not ringing in my ears and the kids all had a blast.

I have become the biggest social media cliché going and finally succumbed to Primark’s light blue shirts. I have seen them all over my IG and every time I walk through, I eyeball them. Me and my biggest girl went shopping whilst the others went to the cinema so we did some serious shopping.
I did a little haul video of all the girls clothes including the cutest leggings from Zara – tell me you don’t want the pink and blue ones for yourself?


I finally took the plunge and made the decision about bathroom shelving. Yes it sounds rather trivial but we have just wallpapered after hating the paint on the walls and thanks to Pinterest, I decided I wanted a shelf of some sort behind the toilet. My Dad and I took a trip to IKEA on Monday and got the one I kept going back to. We’ve had issues with the flipping shower leaking AGAIN so I am hoping that this weekend will get it up. I am looking forward to making it all pretty with the final touches.

We also spent the weekend making an egg bounce. Yes you read that correctly, making bouncy eggs! We were challenged by the BBC to see if we could make an egg bounce using items from our cupboards. It was great fun and you can see the results here:

 


I am very excited about Easter. We have a trip to Disney on Ice and as my husband looks set to be working away for most of it, I decided on a whim to book a night away with the kids in the second week. I have never taken them away overnight on my own so I’m hoping it’s not going to be TOO stressful. We got a really good deal and I’m hoping the sun will shine for us. Hope you all have a lovely Easter.

B xx

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From the day your little bundle (or bundles in my case) is placed into your arms, you worry. Worry about every single decision you make, everything you say, everything you do. The one thing you are always worrying about is their health. I know throughout my pregnancy with the girls, I spent hours searching about twins and googling every symptom. We were told early on that they were measuring different sizes and I continually worried about their health when they were born.

The Worry of Being A Parent

I have to say as a whole, my kids don’t get ill very often. We had the odd sniffle but for the majority of the time, we never grind to a halt. It’s one of those things when they are poorly, you panic. You don’t to constantly bug the Doctor and make unnecessary appointments for a very minor ailment. Did you know that 81% of people  search the internet with their symptoms. Whilst it is quick and easy, it can also lead to you sometimes jumping to drastic conclusions thanks to Google and its huge variety of articles it can bring up. After looking for their symptoms, 76% of people  asked said their search results were not tailored to them; I know I have searched about headaches and it can take you to some scary brain results. Using a system such as onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com can enable you to get a more accurate analysis opposed to any Tom Dick and Harry’s article.

I started my blog in the hope that people expecting identical twins wouldn’t find article that I did all about Twin to Twin syndrome and scaremongering that twins always came severely prematurely and often spent the first few weeks and months of their lives in the neonatal unit. Obviously I know this can happen, but there seemed to be a lack of positive stories like what I experienced. My pre natal care from the NHS was outstanding and led me to be so lucky and have two healthy daughters born at term. And that my friends, is where the worrying amplified but I’ve learned to accept that it is part and parcel of being a parent.

B xx

Disclosure: This is a collaborative post. All opinions are my own. The statistics used are from a survey conducted by LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor.

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I remember reading a post that a lady had written damning twin parents who dressed their kids the same. I read it with a sense of outrage and amusement that someone would be so ridiculous to suggest how dressing your kids the same could actually affect them. They look so cute! They don’t care! It makes for nice pics and also helps me spot them easily when out. How ludicrous I thought. However as time has gone on and the girls have gotten older, I now realise that twinning for us is wrong and how I regret dressing my girls the same.

I guess it all started when they started nursery and their first steps into the world on their own started. I was excited for them to make their own friends and have their own little thing going on. Then it hit me – other adults and kids couldn’t tell them apart.

I found it was actually starting to negatively impact them when other kids didn’t know which was which and they would be referred to as either the twins or someone would shout both their names at just one of them…like the two names together was their actual name.

It made me feel a bit sad for them.

As a whole, they don’t seem to care but I can already see P2 starting to be annoyed by it all. She is the first to jump in and correct someone when they call her the wrong name. As they get older, I am sure it is going to be incredibly annoying and tiresome constantly having to correct people who call you the wrong name or just refer to you as a twin. As people, we all carve our own paths and want to be known for various things yet being confused for someone else will be wearing.

Look, I know my girls are identical twins. I struggle to tell other people’s twins apart so I am not having a go at people who DARE to get them mixed up. No, not at all. But I am trying to make it easier. I’d love to say that I choose to dress them differently, but that is all them. I have very little say in what these pair wear on a day to day basis believe me. They both hate having their hair brushed so tying it up is a rarity without World War Three kicking off.

I think the girls look so incredibly different; I know, I am their Mother so I am going to say that but as a whole I’d say the majority of people tend to agree and once they’ve asked which is which they usually tell with ease. But I know kids are going to struggle and I don’t want them to constantly be referred to as “the twins” as though that is their Christian name. Yes., They are twins. Yes they are genetically identical – but they are still individuals. It bugs me when they are given the same birthday card – would you send siblings a joint card or ask them to share a present? No! I have two daughters who happen to be born on the same day. But they are two separate people! I just wish people would realise this! (Ok. I’m sounding bratty here aren’t I?!)

This means I have such a dilemma come September. Do I put them in the same class or separate them? My heart says keep them together but my head is split in two. On the one hand, they are close friends and probably would want to stay together. But then I am torn that once they start school, they are going to make close friends meaning a class separation down the line is going to be harder as it wouldn’t just be splitting them up from their sister, but from other friends.

When I found out I was expecting identical twins, none of this stuff ever entered my head. It was all cute outfits and two of everything, yet as we grow we all are learning. I regret my decision to try to clone them but I completely respect others who choose to dress them the same. I am led by my kids but wish in a way that they wouldn’t change their mind everyday as to wanting to be together or not at school!!!

B xx

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