The Last Time?

I don’t know how you are supposed to prepare yourself for the last time. How do you know it’s the last time? Was it the last time? Who knows.

I am talking about Charlie. After school on Friday, I picked him up from his afterschool club and went to grab his hand as we walked out together. He didn’t really react so I asked if he wanted to hold my hand – and he shook his head. I made a joke about being too cool for school which he laughed, but my hand was never held. I have to admit, this made me so dreadfully sad.

My boy is growing up quicker than I could ever have imagined. Physically, he is so so tall and always has been which brings with it a lot more responsibility. As he comes into the girls toilets with me, people often do a double take as he looks 14 not a child who turned 9 last month. I swear when we are asked his age and we say 9 people think I’m trying it on!

We decided to bring our Florida holiday forward because in all honesty, I feel like we are clock watching. Time is ticking away far too quickly before Charlie retreats to his room and the idea of spending an afternoon playing or going out will be such a laborious task and he no longer wants to be seen with his ultra uncool Mom, Dad and annoying baby sisters.

Charlie is such a lovely kid. He really is such a lovely kid. I often wonder how he’s mine as he has such lovely manners and would never knowingly be naughty. The last 12 months has definitely seen a surge in hormones and he has become more moody and grumpy than usual, but he still has a heart of gold. He still watches out for his younger sisters and is so kind and gentle with them.

Who knows if this was the last time, but my God is was a reality check that moments like these really are going to come to an end soon. I will no longer be the one who wants to be with and spend time with. I don’t think I’m quite ready for this. These past 9 years really have flown by and I can’t belive in another 9, I’ll have a son who is legally able to drink!

B xx

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1 Comment

  1. 30th January 2018 / 12:51 pm

    I relished holding Troy’s hand at the weekend. No-one’s hand was good enough apart from mine. And so this post makes me so emotional. When my little boy is too big to hold my hand I think it will break me a little bit x

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