Why I Regret “Twinning”

I remember reading a post that a lady had written damning twin parents who dressed their kids the same. I read it with a sense of outrage and amusement that someone would be so ridiculous to suggest how dressing your kids the same could actually affect them. They look so cute! They don’t care! It makes for nice pics and also helps me spot them easily when out. How ludicrous I thought. However as time has gone on and the girls have gotten older, I now realise that twinning for us is wrong and how I regret dressing my girls the same.

I guess it all started when they started nursery and their first steps into the world on their own started. I was excited for them to make their own friends and have their own little thing going on. Then it hit me – other adults and kids couldn’t tell them apart.

I found it was actually starting to negatively impact them when other kids didn’t know which was which and they would be referred to as either the twins or someone would shout both their names at just one of them…like the two names together was their actual name.

It made me feel a bit sad for them.

As a whole, they don’t seem to care but I can already see P2 starting to be annoyed by it all. She is the first to jump in and correct someone when they call her the wrong name. As they get older, I am sure it is going to be incredibly annoying and tiresome constantly having to correct people who call you the wrong name or just refer to you as a twin. As people, we all carve our own paths and want to be known for various things yet being confused for someone else will be wearing.

Look, I know my girls are identical twins. I struggle to tell other people’s twins apart so I am not having a go at people who DARE to get them mixed up. No, not at all. But I am trying to make it easier. I’d love to say that I choose to dress them differently, but that is all them. I have very little say in what these pair wear on a day to day basis believe me. They both hate having their hair brushed so tying it up is a rarity without World War Three kicking off.

I think the girls look so incredibly different; I know, I am their Mother so I am going to say that but as a whole I’d say the majority of people tend to agree and once they’ve asked which is which they usually tell with ease. But I know kids are going to struggle and I don’t want them to constantly be referred to as “the twins” as though that is their Christian name. Yes., They are twins. Yes they are genetically identical – but they are still individuals. It bugs me when they are given the same birthday card – would you send siblings a joint card or ask them to share a present? No! I have two daughters who happen to be born on the same day. But they are two separate people! I just wish people would realise this! (Ok. I’m sounding bratty here aren’t I?!)

This means I have such a dilemma come September. Do I put them in the same class or separate them? My heart says keep them together but my head is split in two. On the one hand, they are close friends and probably would want to stay together. But then I am torn that once they start school, they are going to make close friends meaning a class separation down the line is going to be harder as it wouldn’t just be splitting them up from their sister, but from other friends.

When I found out I was expecting identical twins, none of this stuff ever entered my head. It was all cute outfits and two of everything, yet as we grow we all are learning. I regret my decision to try to clone them but I completely respect others who choose to dress them the same. I am led by my kids but wish in a way that they wouldn’t change their mind everyday as to wanting to be together or not at school!!!

B xx

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  1. Lorna Ledger
    28th March 2017 / 7:36 am

    Ahhh, Well, It might work for some twins, but not yours 🙂 You are a great mumx

  2. 28th March 2017 / 6:29 pm

    I imagine the school class issue is a real dilemma! I can totally see the pros and cons of both. Do the school offer any suggestions? Or are there other twin parents who can give their experiences? Ultimately though I imagine no one will decide for you so it’s really tough!

  3. 28th March 2017 / 7:47 pm

    I completely get this. It’s so hard to remember all the children’s names and faces let alone when two look the same AND dress the same. If it helps, all of the twins in Athena’s school are in different classes – I think most of the twins are so reliant on each other, and tend to follow each other around, not really needing other children and so they split them to force them to make other friends if that makes sense x

  4. MARGARET gallagher
    29th March 2017 / 11:21 am

    Frustrating 12-18months used to be mistaken for my siblings -annoyed me when I was younger
    It is a very individual choice