Today is Mothering Sunday. A day where you show your Mother how much she means to you – whether that be by breakfast in bed, a handmade card, a bunch of flowers or a simple thank you and I love you. But it can also be a bittersweet day for so many including myself. To those who have lost their Mothers, those who desperately want to be Mothers, those no longer with relationships with their Mothers.
Being a Mother has been the hardest yet rewarding title I’ve ever been given. From the moment you see a big cross on a pregnancy test, you take on this role and spend each day treading this new path on which you have no idea if you’re doing it right. Hoping that you are making the best decisions and not making a hash of it.
I have been a Mother, as such, for nine years with my eight & three month year old. He taught me everything I know but each day brings new challenges as he grows and at school we constantly enter new territory. I may have thrown my parenting knowledge book out the window when I had the girls, as not only twins but girls are a whole new ball game.
Being a Mother is a 24/7 job. Even when they aren’t with you, you’re constantly planning, thinking, worrying – there is no off button. Your babies shape and fork everything you do. All decisions are made around them and hopefully for their greater good.
Whilst being a Mother can be so hard, it too is simply amazing. Your heart bursts with pride when they first roll over, tell you they love you, bring home a handmade card, get a brilliant parents evening report. They call you and you alone “Mommy” and no matter what year we check off on the calendar, you’re never too old to want your Mom.
At 31, I still want my Mom. When I’ve had a bad day or exciting news, she’s always the one I want to tell – exactly the same as my 3 and 8 year olds feel. It’s something that’s ingrained in you from an early age that never goes away.
I don’t have the luxury to spoil my Mom on Mothers Day but I have my own little family that ease the chasm of grief is ever present. They make me laugh, make me happy and make me feel complete. Being a Mother is so much more than I ever could imagine. Today and every day.