Tears and Tantrums – It’s Normal!

Tantrums are hard. Physically, emotionally and mentally for all involved. Charlie never really was one for a public meltdown but my girls seem more than happy to perform in public. With twins, the ratio of a public tantrum on any outing is definitely doubled meaning that it’s rare any day out doesn’t result in a momentous hissy fit over something incredibly trivial. We have had tantrums over putting a shoe on the wrong way, the wrong colour cup, unbuckling a belt and the main catalyst for any tantrum lately – having their hair brushed. Oh I am so evil daring to ask them to tame the mane but P1 will not let any hair brushing event go unnoticed.

Tears and Tantrums - It's Normal!

Some days, I can handle them. In fact they actually make me chuckle at the craziness of it all and actually we end up dissolving into fits og laughter however other days I want to tear my hair out and weep in a corner. Since having the girls I look like I’ve aged about 20 years and lets not even talk about how grey I’ve gone. Luckily my bald husband doesn’t have this issue (hair transplant maybe love?!) but it really does take it’s toll on all aspects of your life. Parenting is hard, coupled with tantrums and strong willed kids it feels like a huge mountain. I turned to other bloggers for some moral support and soon realised it’s not just my monkeys. Tantrums are part and parcel of growing up. It doesn’t make you a crap parent, in fact it makes you normal. I asked some of my blogger pals about their most memorable kids meltdowns. Hopefully some of these epic tantrums you’ll be nodding along with like I did.

Last night! Other half was at work on nights (until his work place literally burned down!) so was on my own with three kids aged 5, 4 and 2 at bedtime. They were bloody nightmares. Two eldest were squabbling and rolling around the floor fighting, so ended up crying and screaming, youngest was over tired and screaming. I took my coffee and locked myself in bathroom for 5 minutes before I went loopy! www.coffeecakekids.com
The worst one for me was when my daughter was around 20 months old. I was doing some shopping in town with her dad, who had popped off to do his own thing for an hour or so. I needed to get my little girl back in her pushchair, and she just freaked out massively. She screamed, shouted, went rigid, threw herself on the floor and basically got everyone in a 100 metre radius to stare at us. This also was right in front of McDonald’s, where dozens of people seemed to stare through the windows with their judge eyes whilst stuffing fries in their faces. No one offered to help me and I felt awful for ages afterwards! Luckily this wasn’t a common happening! http://emlinthorpe.com
Frequently with my youngest, who started to fling himself face down on the pavement/wet grass/anywhere he felt like for reasons such as: didn’t want to hold mums hand (at 17 months old next to a busy road), really wanted to jump in the puddle despite not having wellies on, being put in the pushchair, being taken OUT of pushchair (same day, go figure!) but worst is when he has a tantrum in the baby carrier. Trying to walk along looking like it is perfectly normal to have an almost two year old red in the face, snot and tears flying all over the place screaming so loudly your older toddler is walking along with her hands over her ears and people are taking steps back from you as they let you pass is not a fun thing! https://www.belledubrighton.co.uk/
We had car seat issues when Bethany was about 2.5 years old. She would arch her back and scream and kick and the only way to get her in was to literally pin her, which felt horrible and looked awful to anyone passing by. The number of times I ended up in tears was unbelieveable. www.epsandamy.co.uk

Tears and Tantrums - It's Normal!

Took the kids to Sainsburys. The giant one that has EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. Which meant that the kids kept on clamouring for things – I want a magazine, I want to head straight to the pineapples, pleeeeeeeeeeease can I just have some Shopkins, DON’T LIKE THE MILK AISLE IT’S COLD etc… – and then they all started winding each other up too. ‘It’s my turn to get the next thing, no it’s mine, I don’t LIKE those yoghurts, why does she get to sit in the trolley and I don’t you’re a POO’ and so on. Then the youngest, who is two, found the yoghurts and started eating them with her hands whilst I was distracted separating the other two. A handful from each of the six in the packet. The eldest had decided he was in charge and was physically dragging my 5yo across the floor, screaming at her that she wasn’t going where she was meant to, she was a poohead, and looking righteous because he was ‘helping mummy’. At this point I was getting lots of ‘looks’ from people and some unfriendly muttering. I started feeling angry about that – why don’t people offer to help instead of criticising? Not entirely sure how we made it out but the kids and the trolley were all covered in yoghurt, I didn’t get half the groceries and I had to sit calmly in the car for five minutes before I felt ready to drive. http://mummyisagadgetgeek.co.uk
When my son was about 2 and a half, we were in Tesco and he wanted to go on the escalators. Now, we went up and down them a couple of times but I needed to get on. He wasn’t impressed and started a tantrum. I had to carry him kicking and screaming from one end of Tesco to another. I was mortified, not to mention in pain as he was a sturdy toddler! He managed to boot over a stack of loo rolls on the way too. Never again! www.yorkshirewonders.co.uk
Lucy from Real Mum review wrote all about the day her two year old reduced her to tears. http://realmumreview.com/the-day-my-toddler-made-me-cry/

I find all this massively reassuring. I know some people don’t like to talk about the hard side of parenting, but this DOES happen. It can be frustrating and often lead to you questioning your own skills. All I would say is, hang in there. They do get easier and before you know it? They’ll be replaced by teenage strops. Now THEY sound fun!!

B xx

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16 Comments

  1. Helen Moulden
    1st February 2017 / 12:38 pm

    Great post, it does get easier as they get older. The worst tantrums are definitely when they’re over-tired!

  2. Margaret
    1st February 2017 / 12:39 pm

    Tantrums certainly do make me pull my hair out -most of the times i let them pass over my head

  3. A S,Edinburgh
    1st February 2017 / 11:00 pm

    Great article, thank you. It’s hard to overstate the importance of being reminded that you’re not alone in these experiences.

  4. 2nd February 2017 / 1:52 am

    I think tantrums are reasonably easy to deal with, other people’s opinions on them are sometimes less so.

  5. William Gould
    2nd February 2017 / 8:21 am

    Yes it can be awful – I don’t know how my Mum coped when there were 5 of us! But she did have a loud, stern voice when she wanted to, which we were all a little scared of! And a “look” she used to give us if we were in company, which was also pretty scary…. Seemed to do the trick as I remember!

  6. joanne casey
    4th February 2017 / 10:34 am

    Tantrums are so much easier to deal with privately…its when it happens in public that its really testing

  7. Rachel Craig
    5th February 2017 / 9:33 am

    Yes normal part of growing up, so it seems. I recall being told that a colleague once phoned work asking to do a shift if required ( some staff do Bank shifts, to provide sufficient staff coverage on departments) if required. She was disappointed at not being needed to do a shift, her youngsters were at that difficult stage ( tantrums). I thought must be a joke, but no. On one occasion we we were in a group chatting about children, she acknowledged yes :- She had been eager to work a shift to get away from our youngest children’s tantrum. I appreciated her honesty.

  8. Rachel Butler
    6th February 2017 / 8:38 pm

    Reading these stories like ‘yip! That’s familiar!’ Haha! My little one is 6 now and I still feel the ‘terrible 2’s’!

  9. Elaine McGhee
    7th February 2017 / 3:01 pm

    We’ve had a very rare day with no tantrums, although it’s only 3pm! Xxx

  10. Sarah Mackay
    9th February 2017 / 12:19 am

    Tantrums can be so difficult to deal with when in public, don’t think I will get the hang of what to do.

  11. Alison Ellis
    9th February 2017 / 8:05 pm

    I had 3 under 31/2 years. The oldest was the worst age would have a tantrum and throw chairs around the room even at 3 years old.

  12. Rachel Craig
    9th February 2017 / 8:17 pm

    I think sometimes little one’s tears and or tantrums occur when they are tired or exhausted. So maybe ensuring some calm, quiet, restful times can be beneficial for everyone.

  13. Marie Carr
    10th February 2017 / 5:49 am

    I’ve got 3 kids of 8. 6 and 4 It’s getting better as they got older but still a few wobblies every now and then 🙂

  14. Anthea Holloway
    10th February 2017 / 4:32 pm

    It is so embarrassing when you get tantrums in public but do not worry, most people are sympathetic and understand. Just don’t rage and shout or you will look really bad!

  15. Susan Smith
    11th February 2017 / 8:16 pm

    Tears and tantrums are all part of growing up, as parents, patience and understanding are the key elements to helping the child calm down

  16. tee simpson
    12th February 2017 / 8:02 pm

    totally feeling this post!

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