Coping Alone – The Ordinary Moments

It’s been a very long week. You can tell we are hurtling towards the end of the school year with a grumpy seven year old, who had to have a trip to the Doctors which he was NOT happy about due to a painful foot. The weather has meant we have been cooped up inside for a lot of the week and I’ve been feeling exhausted, only adding to the stress.

My husband works away most weeks. When we go to bed on a Sunday, we then won’t see him until after tea time on a Friday evening. This is how it has been most of our relationship so it’s nothing new. It was pretty scary when the girls were just weeks old but you adapt and crack on. The summer time is always busier than usual so he’s home a lot more then and we always try to make the most of the weekends.

This week however, he hasn’t come home. Work has been that manic he has been urgently been called to another site meaning on Friday he’s driven straight there and Monday morning he will be leaving there to go back to the other job, not coming home in the meantime.

I am not going to lie – I have really struggled this week, especially knowing there will be no reprise at the weekend. It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? There are people that don’t have partners so have this 24/7 seven days a week but I guess it is what you are used to.

I’ve felt very lonely of an evening. With no one to offload to or chat to or just even someone sat next to you. I’ve found myself so bored once the kids are asleep that I’ve ended up going to bed myself.

I think people around me have sensed my downbeat mood so have stepped in to help. My sister has been brilliant. She’s popped in after work giving me a much needed adult to chat to and also invited us to a party with them yesterday, which the kids absolutely loved.

My best friend too has asked us to go out today. It may have been hard but on reflection – it’s made me realise that I have some pretty awesome people around me, who can’t step in to help me quick enough.

I also know that to combat us all grumbling – we need to get out and about! Yesterday I took all three to the cinema then had a look in the Next sale and to McDonald’s – on a crazily busy Saturday afternoon. If someone had suggested this to me I’d have said absolutely no way, but I did it! On my own! I need to push myself and stop being a wuss.

I do sometimes wish I had a husband who did a 9-5 and was back every evening but my husband works so hard and is away so much which he too hates. But he does this so I can be at home with the kids. I am eternally grateful that I’ve got to be at home for the last three years and we’ve been so lucky that we can live off one wage. So when feeling sorry for myself, I need to realise how much I really have and what a privileged position I’m actually in!
With just one week left of school, I have a feeling that Friday is going to be a pretty ace day in our house.

B xx

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  1. 17th July 2016 / 6:02 pm

    I can’t imagine what this must be like for you, I am so lucky to have my husband home every night. With only the occasional night away for work. Well done for getting out on your own and you really do find out what great friends and family you have at at time like this. Roll on Friday x

  2. 17th July 2016 / 6:31 pm

    Aww! Bless you! It’s so good that you have some people around you to keep you company and offer support….Hang on in there. x

  3. 18th July 2016 / 1:57 pm

    I can imagine it is really hard work lovely. I know that it is all relative and there are people who have husbands away, just like there are people like me who have their husbands there the majority of the time. I know you just learn to get on with it but I can imagine how hard it is when you think there is no respite- parenting is hard work. Well done for getting out on your own with them. I often think the same if I go out with all three- I feel really proud of myself! xx

  4. Iris Tilley
    7th August 2016 / 11:46 am

    Must be really hard though as well with things changing making routine even more important even when he’s around. My son in law is in the army and often goes away for months at a time so my daughter comes and stays with us for wks at a time.

  5. 7th March 2017 / 9:04 am

    It is a tough path – and you are absolutely allowed to feel blessed and worn out at the same time! My husband is self employed and in the winter he is super flexible which allows me a certain amount of freedom – in the summer though he is away for weeks at a time. All my family is in Australia and his is six hours away. We certainly feel the lack of outside support. Child care is super expensive for two kids under 4, but for me it is better to be broke and keep some mummy sanity by having the occasional bit of time to myself! I find I struggle the most on weekends when he is away. The mummy support network is not so available as the ‘normal’ families are all doing family things – that’s when I feel lonely. I survive the evenings with my buddy netflix!