Don’t worry, your eyes aren’t deceiving you that does say DOWNSIDE of losing weight. No honestly! There are some. Sounds quite ridiculous doesn’t it? After piling on the pounds and crying because you can’t get your zip done up on the jeans you had to buy in 3 dress sizes what you used to be, surely there is only positives to losing weight?
- Well as a whole, yes. But ok, here are a few unexpected downsides to losing the chub:Your knickers don’t fit. Swear to god, I blamed the elastic in about 10 pairs of pants before realising that actually, they weren’t ready for the bin and my Arse no longer pads them out.
- Your boobs shrink. A lot. If only you lose weight from your thighs the rats it drops from your boobs; they seemed to be the first things to bloody go!!! After two pregnancies and breastfeeding three kids I thought I’d still got it… Nope. Weight loss has reduced them to sad spaniel ears. Damn you.
- Loose skin. My kids like to grab at it like a stretch Armstrong and to be fair, my stomach gives him a good run for his money… Until the intense pain hits me and I want to cry at the pathetic state of my body and also the sheer agony two two year olds can inflict.
- Uncomfortable conversations. Namely when people start telling you that their arse has doubled in size and resembles a small planet but they just love the cake. How can you respond without a half hearted… No I’m sure it isn’t that big. When it totally is. People will also openly start saying things like “I don’t like standing next to you” “I hate you” and you just laugh it off… Ha bloody ha. Love me and my bones people!
- You become really annoying. I have started telling my poor husband how many syns are in that bag of crisps he is eyeing up or how he should only have two slices of wholemeal bread as his healthy option. The poor bloke just wants to eat! You also regularly sit with a Diet Coke at lunch dates making everyone who ordered a hot chocolate and slice of cake feel really guilty.
- Your clothes hang really weirdly. When I put on jeans that are too they end up giving me a baggy crotch which makes me look like a cross between an emo skater and a clown. Tops that used to sit nicely on your rotund stomach now become overstretched dresses. You really become a shapeless figure.
- You have to buy loads of belts. Without them your clothes genuinely will just slide down which is never good for ANYONE.
- You constantly worry about piling it all on. People are SO helpful when they point out that “so and so lose six stone” and quickly follow it up with “they’ve put it all back on now though” Ahhh. Super helpful and just what I want to hear!!
But despite all this, I am still determined to get to my goal weight – saggy knickers or not, I will get there!!!