I don’t blog as much as I used to. I vowed this year I wouldn’t take on irrelevant posts and fill my pages with stuff that wasn’t “me” but as the months have ticked by and the posts become fewer and far between, the stats drop and I slip away from social media I wonder how much longer I’m left for the blogging world.
Dramatic? (Ah go on then, may as well ham it up eh?!) Perhaps. But I struggle to find my place. I don’t have a niche; despite the name I don’t post useful twin blogs where expectant twin parents can flock to – instead I’ll probably traumatise them taking the piss about the craziness of twin life. I have an eclectic mix of topics I post about and are usually complete opposite ends of the spectrum – sarcastic humour and grief.
I don’t feel like I belong as a blogger. I’m not one to “network” and automate my Twitter feed so it’s an endless stream of link pushing. I also don’t like the whole comment rings, they make me feel uncomfortable. Why would you want to force someone to comment and praise your post or photo, it feels incredibly false. I would rather one person comment off their own back and mean it that twenty who are in it to “scratch your back”
I also am feeling more and more uncomfortable about sharing our life. Not knowing who reads or stalks your Instagram can be somewhat unnerving. The thought that people can screenshot and dissect with friends is really not nice.
I don’t know where I’m going with this post along with my blog itself. It’s a weird one as I know I would miss it if it’s gone but I no longer feel like I fit in. Everyone with oodles of ideas and months of post scheduled whereas I’m struggling to write one. I felt like this before Christmas and four months down the line I’m still the same. My blog gave me a purpose but it has done this less and less. Maybe I have outgrown it all? Who knows. If I don’t know myself then why am I even writing this?!