Time Alone – The Ordinary Moments

With a husband working away during the week and family and friends who work full time it’s rare that I am ever alone. Two year old twins mean that I always have a little companion by my side when my eldest is at school. If ever I get “child free” time it is when I have something in particular to do or go to, I never just have free solo time.

On Friday, I answered my own question of should my two year olds be at nursery and they had their first session. The first time in their two years and nine month long lives that they had been with someone other than close family. They are only going on a Friday morning for three hours and this is going to sound ridiculous but I was lost.

I wandered aimlessly around town trying to find something to do so the clock ticked down but I was completely bored. I came  home and watched some trash tv on catch up and tidied the house but what struck me most? The silence.

There are days where this is all I crave; peace and quiet. The ability to do what I want when I want. The freedom to go anywhere I want with just myself to please. Park anywhere not worrying about being able to open both doors with ease! But turns out? The grass is that little bit greener. That hot cup of tea really isn’t all that amazing and time to go shopping in a small town with nothing to buy – no. Not all that great!

I know I will come to appreciate the time alone and be more productive but for me it made me realise how I am on the cusp of being left behind. That sounds selfish and petty but my babies are not just that  – they are girls who in eighteen months will be in the full time education system making their steps in the world.

To go from such a whirlwind of crazy days with twins to a big empty house seems somewhat daunting. What will I do with six hours everyday?! My little crew is slowly outgrowing me and I feel a bit sad.

The grand plan would have been to have been pregnant now. Probably about to announce I was 12 weeks with my third baby due in September as baby two was starting nursery but baby two brought bonus baby three with her! It all feels a bit soon. They should still be my little dollies but instead I’m standing at a very quiet front door wondering where this time has slipped away to?

Time alone now is going to become an ordinary moment but for the next few weeks it’s going to be anything but that!


B xx

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13 Comments

  1. 13th March 2016 / 7:54 am

    I got a bit emotional reading this, as I too feel like my girls are growing up around me and far too quickly. My eldest starts school in September and it won’t be long after that my youngest will start a morning or 2 at preschool and I just can’t imagine not having them with my all day, every day. I hope you can find a way to enjoy those three hours x

  2. 13th March 2016 / 8:31 am

    I totally relate to this, I start work tomorrow for two days and although I have been longing for some time away, the peace and quiet and a hot cup of tea I know it will feel like there is something missing when I look down at the space next to me. Motherhood ey! X

  3. 13th March 2016 / 10:48 am

    This made me feel a little emotional. I can imagine it must be a little weird that your baby number two came with baby number three as well, which is just amazing but also the fact that it means you tick off the milestones at the same time. I really relish my two days away from LL as I work and get lots done, but I know I will be absolutely devastated when she is in school. I still miss Mads so much, but there is something about another one going that will just make me really sad I think. Time passes so quickly. x

  4. 13th March 2016 / 1:51 pm

    This left me with a tear in my eye. J has gone to nursery since she was 9 months old and at times I feel bad that I don’t spend enough time with her, but she’s thrived. I rarely get alone time (aside from right now strangely enough) and whenever I do I always feel guilty that I’m not spending the limited time I have with her x

  5. There's always time for tea
    13th March 2016 / 2:15 pm

    I’ve been a few months with the three of them all in full time school, and most days I have found my routine of rushing about getting stuff done while they are in school, but other days I wander around a bit aimlessly thinking that it’s way too quiet! You will get into the routine of it all eventually! xx

  6. 13th March 2016 / 2:19 pm

    Ah lovely this made me feel sad, I’m quite similar my youngest will start school in September 2017 which is so soon. I feel so sad when I think about it and no clue what I will do with myself. Enjoy your free time, it’s funny how we crave silence but we it is a little scary when we get it xx

  7. 13th March 2016 / 6:06 pm

    I completely understand this. Troy starts preschool in September and I know I will feel like I’ve lost an arm when I lose my sidekick to the education system. But I know that after the first week or so that time will be used productively – cleaning, blogging… But it is still far too soon. We never planned a third and so I know this is it. My baby days are drawing to a close x

  8. 13th March 2016 / 8:02 pm

    Oh lovely, how emotional. I remember this feeling too. BUT I adore the time we have apart (it’s only short at the moment) as we are all so much happier. You’ll soon fill the time and the girls will have so much to show you and tell you! Lovely post xx

  9. 13th March 2016 / 10:41 pm

    Oh I know what you mean – I work from home one day a week and I can’t begin to imagine how that will feel when it’s just H and me at home and all three in school or nursery, fortunately we’ve got a little more time on our side, but not much!!

  10. 14th March 2016 / 9:55 am

    Ah lovely we had the same as you with bonus no3. I’ve got my two starting school in September as the eldest started last year. I really am going to miss them but they will love it. I’m sure yours will relish the time to become more independent too. #ordinarymoments

  11. 14th March 2016 / 8:30 pm

    Aw it is so strange to have that time to yourself when they go off to nursery. I’m sure you’ll soon get used to it though and three hours won’t seem long enough!

  12. 15th March 2016 / 11:37 pm

    This really struck a chord with me. My youngest is only 3 months so technically I’ve got ages but I know it will go so quickly. Being left behind are definitely the words I’ve been searching for to describe my fear and sadness of having my last baby and all of them growing up and away.

  13. 16th March 2016 / 10:35 am

    Gosh, what a huge step for you. I’ve never really thought what it must be like for mummies of twins or triplets – suddenly there is no one home, no easy run into it. No wonder you found it odd. Be kind to yourself. You will get used to it. x