Why Is January So Crap?

Four days in, and it’s still acceptable to wish family, friends, colleagues and strangers walking their dogs Happy New Year. Yes new year, new me bullsh*t is still high on the agenda and resolutions are made, goals set, trainers dusted off; for 2016 is going to be THE year.

  
But this time next week? We will realise how sh*t January really is. And my friends, I have realised why and it is all because of the following

  1. It’s no longer acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast and have mulled wine at lunchtime. You will be frowned upon suggesting we go to the pub after the morning school run for a festive tipple.
  2. You have to drag a dead carcass out of your house. Instead of blood there’s 14 million pine needles that you will find poking out of the carpet until at least the Spring. Think treading on Lego is bad? Think again.
  3. Back to school. There is nothing more depressing than bleak January school runs in the gloomy freezing rain. Bloody kids.
  4. You are bombarded with skinny people and luxury 5* holidays you can’t afford because you blew the budget over Christmas. Every advert break is filled of smug six pack Lycra clad gorgeous models telling you how easy it is to drop a dress size in a week then to add insult to injury, the same gorgeous creatures are prancing around in the Caribbean in a bikini, whilst you’re sat in the freezing cold West Midlands wearing a giraffe onesie from Primark.
  5. Nothing happens! It’s the most boring month ever. Aside from the fact Christmas couldn’t be further away, you probably have no friggin idea when Easter is as let’s face it, who ever does? January is the biggest nothing month in the calendar.
  6. People spend the month sober. Yes it’s actively encouraged to have a ‘dry January’. As if the fact that Christmas is over isn’t depressing enough. And no one will like your Instagram pictures of booze like they do in December…
  7. You have to find places for hundreds of new toys. Sadly Santa didn’t bring an extension down the chimney so you can space for them. Instead you probably will be subjected to a chaotic trip to IKEA for storage which with kids in tow and thousands of other parents thinking the sand, you’ll be waiting over an hour for a 95p bacon sandwich whilst your kids have a tantrum as you won’t let them have 50 new stuffed toys and then can’t fit in all in the boot. Hell.
  8. Everyone is so grumpy. There’s no wishing strangers to have a ‘merry’ or ‘happy’ time. Instead we are the complete opposite and tut, groan and bitch way more. Probably due to the fact it’s freezing cold, you’ve had fruit and water for breakfast and you’re stone cold sober.

Bloody January. Can it be summer soon? At least then we can moan it’s too hot but remember sweet treat filled outdoor picnics (no crumbs) and drinking in the sun is positively encouraged. Sigh.

B xx

You Baby Me Mummy

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19 Comments

  1. 4th January 2016 / 9:31 am

    Ha ha! I love this. I completely agree. January is crap. It always seems the longest most tedious month. I say sod the diet and sober January. I’m going to have chocolate and prosecco for breakfast. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  2. 4th January 2016 / 12:35 pm

    hahaha! Brilliant and so true! I hate January! It is so rubbish! It’s so grey & gloomy too…I need some sunshine x

  3. Emma Jones
    4th January 2016 / 10:30 pm

    Love it Beth. I hate January too but have to be a smidgen happy as ita my daughters birthday on the 20th. Roll on summer flips flops & bbq’s.
    Lifeinthemumslane

  4. 4th January 2016 / 11:03 pm

    Haha, January is the worst month ever!!! Even our deputy head this morning didn’t give us a Happy New Year at briefing as “I’ve already had enough of that crap!” Say it like it is, sir! xx

  5. 5th January 2016 / 11:20 am

    Amen sister. It is the most depressing month ever. My mouth hasn’t got the memo though and has just ate three shortbread biscuits from the tin without tasting them. And doing it sober is just crazy business x

  6. 6th January 2016 / 9:49 pm

    Love it, I must say I am struggling to come off sugar, today has been better but the last few days I felt manic and craved sugar constantly, and dry January not a chance ha ha x

  7. 8th January 2016 / 7:33 am

    Haha I love this! Great list and all true. I was going to do dry January but with two toddlers, a house move and it being January I couldn’t do it lol #thelist xx

  8. 8th January 2016 / 8:36 am

    OK so I do agree love Jan is so CRAP but the one thing that really gets me through it is now we are that ever bit closer to Spring. I just generally try to train my brain on that one thought to get me through!!! Popping over from #TheList x

  9. 8th January 2016 / 10:27 am

    Yes, yes, yes I am really not a January lover. The school run has been pretty awful this week, its cold. Its been slow (I have decided to get rid of the pushchair for the 3 year old!). But hey its the 8th, only 23 days until the next horrid month is here:-)

  10. 8th January 2016 / 12:43 pm

    This is hilarious and very true. To make matters worse (usually at least) my birthday is in January and whilst I was very spoilt at Christmas with an eternity ring it was my birthday present too so I definitely won’t be getting any presents! That said, I am going away next weekend which will be nice but you’re right, usually January is a month of nothingness that seems to last an eternity.

  11. 8th January 2016 / 7:54 pm

    Cheer up grumpybum!! 😉 Yes — Christmas is over but look at the positives!

    I’m not a lover of January either to be honest. I’m a January baby too so celebrate my birthday this month (not easy when everyone’s skint after Christmas and can’t be bothered to celebrate again, just 3 weeks after new year).

    BUT, I love the thought of a brand new year ahead of us — lots of plans to make and adventures to be had.

    I LOVE having a clean, new diary and I love the fact that the nights are already starting to draw out again!!

    Hurrah! Spring is on the way! Happy new year darling — may 2016 be good to you xx #TheList

  12. 9th January 2016 / 8:03 am

    So true! Reflects what we’ve been saying all along. Let just bloomin hibernate until Spring!! BTW your onesie sounds fab! #TheList #JustAnotherLinky x

  13. Wander Mum
    9th January 2016 / 9:52 am

    If my birthday wasn’t in January I would THOROUGHLY dislike it…way to cold for my liking and people can be so miserable… this whole dry Jan thing – come on! I usually get through it by booking fun things to do, days out theatre trips and we always have a weekend away for my birthday…this year we are really pushing the boat out and are off to sunnier climes! Cannot wait!

  14. 11th January 2016 / 6:39 pm

    Completely agreed!! I hate January and its my birthday next week! January birthdays suck, everyone is skint, tired or has exhausted their baby sitters over xmas! Hibernation does seem rather appealing doesn’t it?! #justanotherlinky

  15. 11th January 2016 / 8:51 pm

    Spot on! January is rubbish, I propose a Christmas part 2 in January where we just continue to eat turkey and chocolate. You can never have too much turkey and chocolate.

  16. 15th January 2016 / 7:59 pm

    Popping back from #justanotherlinky. Thanks for linking up – we can’t eat chocolate for breakfast now????

  17. 2nd January 2017 / 7:34 pm

    I am so with you on all of these! I do not like January at all! X

  18. 2nd January 2017 / 8:31 pm

    I’ve always loved January plus it’s my birthday month! I love the start of a new year seeing what excitement it may bring! Love your post though gave me a giggle! Xx

  19. Margaret
    5th January 2017 / 9:19 am

    Youve made me laugh with this
    February will be here soon x

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