Imagine taking a raging bull out on a lead then letting it off the lead for about 3 second – carnage? Yes. That’s pretty much how I liken any outing with my 2.5 year old twins without a pushchair. If it was up to me they would be strapped into that damn buggy until they’re teenagers. Sadly that is going to happen but for the time being, keeping them in a buggy is pretty much my only option – if not for my sanity than their safety. But lets face it – double buggies are big. No matter how slim-line they tell you, I’m still pushing a hefty 3 stone plus of other human life forms around and trying to manoeuvre doorways is the least of my worries when there’s other roaming children and adults in my way.
Pushchair life is tough. But the twin cliché of double trouble, for pushchairs, is SPOT ON. It really can be troublesome and problematic trying to drive one; they really should have driving manuals for multiple parents. Here are just a few places that it really is not advisable to take a double buggy EVER
- Public transport. Oh boy, if looks could kill. If you hop on a bus there’s probably one maybe two pushchair spaces. With a double? Your hogging it all. Prepare for other Moms to hate you. In other news you’ll probably be refused on a train by yourself so treat yourself by taking a taxi or just not going.
- Up a hill. walking up steep hills is hard – fact. Walking with another human? Exhausting. Two and a half year old heavy lump twins? Im-pissin-possible. You’ll probably give yourself a coronary before you get to the top.
- Shops. They cannot handle you. Their displays are too close together, you cannot complete a full turning circle without clattering into shelves and sending stands flying. Oh, and don’t even get me started in trying to stand at a till when other people have to walk past you. Yes madam, cashier number 5 may be available but I cannot slice my buggy in half to let you and your basket full of shopping barge through.Avoid avoid avoid.
- IKEA. In fact don’t ever take anyone in a pushchair to IKEA. Come to think of it – avoid taking small children or anyone who hates IKEA – they will dull your shine and definitely judge you for spending p over £100 on candles, pointless kitchen crap and numerous weird stuffed toys. Hands up who owns a bizarre stuffed piece of fruit/vegetable based toy and/or strange creatures namely their cuddly rat range. Yes. I said rat.
- Near old people. Moth to a flame. You’ll stand for hours while they coo over your offspring and probably tell you that you’re parenting is all wrong and that “in their day…” They will are also number one offended of getting in your way. They stop in the middle of paths and don’t move, walk so slowly when you’re in a rush as one baby is screaming hungry and will totally refuse to step out the way and make you walk on the road. Cheers pal.
- Restaurants/cafes/ general everywhere with other human type places. Where the hell can you park your small tank without being a health and safety nightmare. You’re constantly in the way of everyone as they weave in and out, running over toes and small dogs tied to lampposts. Endless hours are spent apologising for what essentially is taking your kids out.
- Fields – you cannot see dog/cow/sheep/any form of poo which will inevitably end up covering the buggy. Also, off-roading? No chance. They are lying. You can’t off-road in all terrain with a twin wagon. No I’m not having it!
So to summarise – I’d pretty much never leave the house until they are at school, and when they are? You’ll probably need to learn some social skills after hiding from society – and sell your barely used double buggy on eBay. Kerching.