On days when you’ve been awake long before the CBeebies adverts have even started, when you’ve put your phone in the fridge and already used the naughty step 7 times before it’s even got light outside – these are the days where your parenting game face is firmly in place and the game is on.
As you charge through the supermarket with one child screaming because you sat them in the wrong side of the trolley and the other grabbing any/everything in sight, there will always be one person who thinks it is a good idea to throw out a “oh dear someone’s not happy” line isn’t there?
Bless them I’m sure they’re just making chit chat or even trying to make you feel ok that your kid is screaming louder than the tannoy system but this is when you need to have absolutely perfected the parenting game face.
Glazed eyes – it’s much politer than rolling them at strangers and their words of advice
Huge grin – think the Joker from Batman. Just so everything thinks you’re -that- happy and can deal with it all as parenting is a breeze, whereas other frazzled parents can spot the slightly maniacal look a mile off and too are grinning wider than a Cheshire Cat
Cheesy script – yes you need to learn this off by heart. “We are so blessed” (as they are trying to bite their sister in the freezer aisles of Asda) and “oh yes, they are golden sleepers” despite your life should be sponsored by touch eclait and cold tea bags
Hands firmly gripped to a pram/trolley/ child’s hand – this is you can’t punch anyone who tries to give you (unwanted) advice
Leggings – the staple uniform for any Mom who still has her jelly belly. You don’t have to have the tears when the buttons don’t close after you’ve eaten way too many crunchies
If you can perfect the game face and the parenting game rules then bingo, no one will ever suspect you are living off 44 minutes sleep and your make up is so thick that you use industrial strength eye make up to hide your monstrous eye bags.