How bad is it that I don’t actually remember a time without the Internet?! Thankfully days of painful 25 minute attempts at dial up Internet, and having to end your very important MSN conversation with your best mate about the boy you actually love all because your Dad needs to make a work call to ensure his business keeps running (so selfish I know) are long gone thanks to the magical wonder that is wifi, and with such glory the Internet has also blessed us with the following. God bless you technology.
- An easy way to completely ignore people I don’t want to talk to simply by staring at a screen
- The ability to know everything about everyone (providing they’re on your friends list. Damn security settings) without leaving the comfort of your home
- The fact you can either Google or tweet something that is bugging you and find out almost instantly unlike the times gone by where you pondered for days the important questions such as who came 4th in the first series of Pop Idol or what happened to the likes of Toby Anstis, Maxine from Coronation Street or Zippy from Rainbow
- FRIENDS! Yes people inside your computer screen that talk more to you than your neighbours or your weird colleague that you have to see daily in the canteen
- This blog. Gone are the days where I would write out a magazine article and staple it together and force my Mom to read about my “romance” with Leonardo Di Caprio. Obviously my showbiz celebrity writing wasn’t my forte but let’s hope that my blog is read more than my school book scraps of paper
- Sat navs, on my phone. Quite literally a life saver as trying to drive whilst someone navigates using only a 10 year old paper guidebook is borderline dangerous driving as no one has a clue where the hell they are, nor where they are going. I would say Google maps has reduced divorce rates by at least 25% since being introduced (probably)
- A child briber. No child can resist the lure of 10 minutes with Peppa Pig on YouTube. The Internet has given me and my husband an extra few minutes in bed which quite frankly when you have twins is GOLDEN. Hallelujah to those folk who upload continuous streams of kids TV. You’re single handily saving parents sanity.
- Access to even more crap you don’t need. The joys of Internet shopping means that you are skint quicker after you convince yourself that your foot may fall off if you don’t buy those shoes, and no one wants that do then now?? And even better. You can do it with greasy hair, no make up and your pjs on – winner!
- Almost guaranteed arthritis in my thumb from using smart phones to browse social media at least 27 times every 10 minutes. And hey, I’ll probably need glasses after staring at screens for over half my life but shhh let’s not berate the uber amaze tinterweb
- Email so that I don’t have to speak to people on the phone anymore
- You can air your views about a TV show (via Twitter obvs) without being told to shhhh as you get incredibly irate about a talking dog that doesn’t really talk or a magician that -gasp- isn’t magic
- Realise you aren’t all that bad as a human, I mean just look at any tabloid comment section on a webpage and you’ll quickly realise you’re not that bad or disturbed as some crazy ass trolls
And that my friends. Is why the Internet IS ACE.