School Gate Moms

With your childs uniform all ironed and hanging up for next week, all that waiting to find out if you got your first choice school seem a lifetime ago. The day you sank into the chair with the biggest grin ever thinking you’d cracked it hoorah! Everything had fallen into place so go back and enjoy that moment again, because I have news for you. Getting INTO the school? That was the easy part. Having to be thrown together with 30 other parents on the playground – oh dear Lord. In a few days you will be thrust together with the most eclectic mix of people you have ever met – and even scarier – your child has to make friends meaning you’ll be forced towards a new person and made to be friends for the sake of your sproglet.

We are now venturing into year two and I would like to think the last three years since our nursery days I have built up a good knowledge of the different types of Mom’s you will meet and ones you can spot a mile off.

The Gym Mom

She will rock up come rain or shine all year round head to toe in very clingy lycra and sweatbands and will do this at LEAST 4 times a week just to make you feel guilty for shovelling that chocolate croissant into your gob as you pile the kids into the car. Quite bizarrely she will probably be wearing said gym kit in the afternoon school run which makes her super keen or super minging.

The Perfectly Preened Mom

She literally must get up at 4am to ensure her hair and make up are immaculate. You’d think her halo may slip come the winter months with the hail and snow – nope. That face of slap is there to stay and make you feel hideously inadequate that you haven’t washed your hair for 3 days and barely can manage a slick of mascara.

The Scatty Mom
There will always be one who continually forgets PE days, trip money and book bags. You can often find her running back to the car to whizz back home to get said kit in time to prevent her reception class child being hysterical that they will be made to wear a kit from the lost property box – the ultimate shame for any child. She will probably have turned up a day early or a day late for the start of term – making you feel a bit better about life.

The Working Mom

She dashes off as soon as the whistle goes. She makes you feel somewhat inadequate as you arrive in leggings with yogurt smeared down them as she’s in her peer suit and clippy cloppy high heels looking immaculate. Behind the power suit is probably an amazing lady who feels super guilty that she has to rush off and miss so much. Be kind. I was her.

The Gossipy Moms

They are usually found chatting at the gates for at least half an hour after the kids have gone in. These ladies are probably stay at home Moms who have the luxury for a natter as it means ignoring the housework for another 30 minutes.

The Organised Mom

She is the one to make friends with. She can tell you all the term dates off the top of her head, what’s on the menu a week in advance and ensures you have absolutely nailed PE and forest school days.

Super Chatty Mom

Bless her. She’s so excited that her kid is going to school she wants to befriend EVERYONE. It’s quite nice to know that there’ll always be one person to chat to on an empty playground.

All this aside, I’ve heard that many people feel intimidated on the school playground. I’m the first to admit I’m rubbish at making friends and making chit chat but I have some pretty blimmin’ awesome mates that I’ve made through Charlie at school. Everyone is in the same boat and seeing as though you’re likely to see these people at least 10 times per week, it’s worth making an effort as you could end up like me – making some lifelong pals and making the playground a pretty great place.

Complaining Mom

Nothing is good enough. I like a whinge but she can out-grumble you 100-1. She’s usually the one who has a bit of a rum kid but it’s never their fault.  
Good luck. It’s tough but you can do it. Oh, and word of advice – scope out the organised Mom ASAP – she will have tissues as you wave them off!

B xx

Nb – before anyone gets shouty, it’s a tongue in cheek post. And yes I know Dads/Grandparents/child minders collect kids. My brain just can’t stretch far enough to dissect then! 

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  1. 28th August 2015 / 6:27 am

    Indeed, I am one of those dads to be found int he playground twice a day. My advice; say hello to him. Trust me, he is often ignored.

  2. 28th August 2015 / 7:43 am

    I’m always slightly suspicious of the preened mama. And of course insanely jealous! Great post. #thelist

  3. 28th August 2015 / 3:28 pm

    Funny list! As a teaching assistant I can tell you we notice these preconceptions too

  4. 28th August 2015 / 5:17 pm

    Having spent a year as a school mum now, I’ve been pleasantly surprised as I’ve made some really good friends, as well as plenty of familiar faces I’ll happily chat along with. As you say, you see them daily, as well as the inevitable parties, so nice to get to know them. I recognise these, I know I’m organised mum! x

  5. 28th August 2015 / 7:21 pm

    hehehe! I’ve been doing the school for about 9 years now and I am definitely a Gossipy mum…I have made some great friends in the school yard and you can always find us chattering away after the school drop off. lol

  6. 28th August 2015 / 7:43 pm

    This is so so true! I childcare share for my sister so have already been scoping out 2 years worth of mums, but now its my turn next week and I have my own group of mums to try to feel a part of. I have a horrendous feeling I am going to be the Scatty Mum though. Loved this. #thelist

  7. 1st September 2015 / 10:25 pm

    Fabulous hun! Very observant! We have a gym mama and a few others. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  8. 6th September 2015 / 11:13 pm

    Ha ha fab post 😀 I probably would be scatty mum, or the working mum 😀 Not a school gate mum yet but those would probably be me 😀