Summer – what pops into your head when you say those 6 glorious letters? Golden gorgeous sun tans? Lounging by a pool with a book and cocktail in hand? Sitting in a beer garden with friends making the most of the light nights? Ah yes I remember those days. Then you have kids. And the kids start school and as you cross of the days in July, the big day is getting closer. The six weeks holidays are upon us (seven weeks this years, yeah, thanks for that) and that equals bored angry children round you 24/7.
Needing a survival guide to cope the next two months? Look no further, beware, you may need to buy stuff but see this as an investment. ESPECIALLY if you have more than one kids. Believe me, you’ll be wheeling it out for the foreseeable decade so listen up. You will need:
- To buy a tent – it’s brilliant believe me. They will play in it for HOURS and when they’re a bit older they will want sleepovers – OUTSIDE! Meaning that you will have full control of the remote and won’t have to put up with a herd of elephants stomping around upstairs. Stress free sleepovers.
- Buy alcohol – you will need this. A lot. Especially as you hit August and realise you have a WHOLE MONTH to survive. A whole bleedin month of “I’m bored” Trust me.
- Charge up the iPads – they are your new best friend and will allow you time to take a shower.
- Make all meal times “picnics” meaning less crumbs and less washing up.
- Team up with other frazzled school holiday moms and alternate having them at your house. Again – tents come in handy to banish them to the garden
- If you’re needing to catch up on sleep thanks to wild toddlers waking up at silly o’clock, go to the cheap kids club at the cinema. You will be able to catch up on much needed zzz’s and hopefully no one will notice you fast asleep. Unless you snore
- Organise LOTS of nights out with other parents so you can weep and impress each other with how many back to back episodes of Horrid Henry you have survived
- Buy educational workbooks. Tell your child they need to keep up their hard work by spending at least an hour doing Maths quiz sheets. In silence preferably so you can catch up on TOWIE.
Of course, I won’t be needing this. I’m actually pretty excited about having my boy home with us. Plus it means NO SCHOOL RUNS (woo hoo) and we have lots of lovely plans. But I’m sure you’ll see quite a few Prosecco photos on Instagram…come on, give me a break toddlers twins who want to watch Peppa Pig on loop and dig up my garden Vs a 6 year old wanting to play football indoors whilst watching Horrid Henry. On second thoughts, I’m off to take out shares in fizzy wine!