It’s full on holiday season. We have just returned from our week down south but I’m sure most of you still have your annual break to look forward to whether it be a weekend away, camping in the UK or jetting off to sunnier climates but one thing is the same – on our return like a script, we will rub off the same lines and all have the same ideas about coming home from your hols. How many of these are you guilty of?
“You can’t beat your own bed”
If you have been camping then my GOD you will be chanting this all week but there is just something about getting back into your own bed after a week away!
“Best stick a load of washing on now”
Yep we all know what an absolute mountain of dirty laundry we will be faced with so its the law that once your arrive back you fire up the washing machine in preparation for the onslaught of grubby garments that are creating the sea of clothes in your kitchen.
“We need to get some milk and a loaf”
Ah the basics. You simply cannot return home without the need to stop for bread and milk. Everything else is surplus to requirements so long as you have these two staple items.
“Put the kettle on”
See. If you haven’t planned ahead and got the milk then you cannot fulfil the mandatory British tradition of sticking the kettle on upon your arrival home. You can then all discuss how “foreign countries just don’t make a good cuppa”
“Look at all this post”
I used to get SO excited about coming home to a pile of post. When we were little my sister would sort it all into piles and I’d read all my penpal letters and it was lovely. Then I grew up. And came home to a ruck of junk mail and bills. Sigh.
“This time last week…”
Yep, you will spend the first week reminiscing about how this time last week your were visiting the beach or how at this time last week you were stuck in a 7 hour traffic jam to get home (true story, sigh) Best not to think about that one to be fair…
First question everyone asks you when you get back “what was the weather like?”
It’s the LAW. No one cares about anything but the weather and you will compare how the weather was at home and my god if you go abroad you absolutely PRAY that it peed down the whole time you were away to maximise gloating potential.
“The food was…”
This will be one way or the other – food is make or break. If it was good it will be the focal point but if it was rubbish man alive no one will ever visit there again. Some people may even be amazed that in Greece you could find an English breakfast – what are the odds..?!
“Do you think I’m tanned?”
Which actually means, please compliment me! Don’t tell them it’s either fake or the product of very naughty sunburn. You will not want to wash as it will wash it off and when your skin starts peeling you feel devastated that you never got to show it off to its full potential. My tip? Wear white. ALL THE TIME POST HOLIDAY. Honestly it’ll make the poorest of tans look that little bit better.
“This washing is going to take me all week”
You may have started early but the odds are if its supposed to be summer here in England it’ll be chucking it down outside so the airer just doesn’t cut the mustard and it takes you over a fortnight to plough through the holiday washing as apparently it’s unreasonable to wear your pjs all day everyday (glare at my husband)
And the question that everyone in your family always asks:
“Right, where we going next year”