So it looks like we really really really ARE going to be moving house in the coming months and whilst I’m desperately trying not to think about the chaos that will be trying to pack up this house, there’s something that is really playing on my mind.
I blogged about the girls room and how so predictably pink it is and how I’m really not a fan but aside from the pink, there’s a very poignant part of their room.
Over the girls cots I bought some cheap wall stickers off eBay. I have to admit, not much planning went into the girls room. I physically wasn’t able to do much with the enormous belly preceding me so I was happy with a tree and bird type mural. But it’s the story behind them that I am struggling with.
I remember vividly the day that those stickers went up. It was me, my huge belly, a dodgy looking step ladder and my wonderful Mom.
We spent the day together trying to work out how the hell we would do it as unbeknown to us – each sticker was an individual not the one large sticker that we thought. And there were hundreds of the buggers!
We had previous on making a complete pigs ear out of any DIY project (no one mention us putting the garden furniture together and putting all the legs on back to front) so it turned into a complete giggle fest as we tried to make the tree look somewhat presentable and not super wonky.
I could only stand for a few minutes without getting breathless so it was like something out of a comedy sketch but after a few hours, some dodgy looking trees and birdcages it was finished and that was that.
It was only in the days and weeks after losing Mom that the irony of the birds shone through. I was adamant that I wanted the “Mommy bird” to be above the two “baby birds” so that she could watch over them and every time I walk into the girls room the Mommy bird is there – looking down on her two babies.
I have been reluctant to redecorate as I don’t want to break up the birds but with us physically going to be leaving – what will become of the birds? It may seem silly and trivial to most but for me it’s really upsetting me. I worry that I’m undoing memories and will be making ones where she’s not involved and that stings. My new house where she never will have stepped foot in.
I know I don’t need a wall and a stickers to know that my Mommy bird is looking down on me, but my God I wish she was here to help me take them down – and put up new ones in our new house. I miss her. So very very much.