30 Signs You’re Almost 30

  1.   You flick through Heat magazine and don’t know who the hell these people are. Where’s Cat Deeley and JLo?
  2. You and your friends now go for meals and afternoon tea opposed to clubs and pitchers of woo woos in the local Wetherspoons on a Friday night
  3. You find yourself saying “ooh isn’t that lovely” when walking past Marks and Spencers new womenswear department instead of Topshop
  4. In a quest to be cool again after the M&S comment you rush into the closest trendiest looking shop but then are flummoxed – is it a top? Skirt? Dress? Bag? This is hurting your head. Back to Marks and Sparks you go…
  5. Someone mentions 1998 and you feel like it was a few years ago – NOT SEVENTEEN RUDDY YEARS AGO!
  6. Your friends are either getting married, having babies or running marathons.
  7. Your metabolism has well and truly abandoned you
  8. It takes you at least three days to recover from a rare night out
  9. On said nights out you will all choose somewhere with lighting and soft music so you can hear and see each other chatting 
  10. You now discuss which is the best Spanx opposed to watch outfit you want to buy from Ann Summers for slutty sexy Halloween parties
  11. If you are unattached without any children you probably won’t be able to read this post over the noise of that biological clock that is thumping away like a pneumatic drill as your elders in society have convinced you that you need “the whole package of a husband, house and kids” by the time you’re 30 otherwise you will end up a spinster…
  12. Your search engine contains key search words such as “flat, comfy, baggy and sensible” followed by some clothes/shoe words
  13. You holiday in the UK because the words 18 to 30 haunt you when even contemplating going abroad
  14. You always carry tissues, baby wipes and paracetamol with you
  15. Your cars always have 5 doors with a large boot and low tax
  16. You actually click the “nearby schools” tab when house hunting and sit and read Ofsted reports
  17. You don’t recognise any songs or artists if you turn on radio one
  18. You have to google boy band members ages just to check its legal that you want to lust after them
  19. High waisted jeans are your new best mate. So long skinnies!
  20. You are willing to pay a bit extra for a nice wine that you actually enjoy and don’t get a hangover from opposed to 3 for a tenner that gets you drunk quicker and saves you buying as many drinks when out
  21. You watch your kids TV shows and say “they don’t make them like they used to” whilst fondly remembering the legendary Bungle, Zippy and George
  22. You pretend you are Anna when belting out Love in an Open Door and your kid shames you by pointing out you’re pretty much making up the words
  23. You have an ever growing collection of exercise DVDS from random zlist reality TV stars because all those drunken kebabs and burgers when you were 18 are now catching up with you
  24. You always carry a bag for life as you begrudge paying a penny for a bag. Don’t they know we have a mortgage to pay?!
  25. You turn your nose up at the 14 year olds on their lunch break trying on the tester lippys in superdrug forgetting that’s what you used to do as you were skint
  26. You cannot believe how many grey hairs you have already – this isn’t going to stay away til your 40s are they?!
  27. You cannot believe that you were at school almost HALF YOUR LIFE AGO!
  28. You pray no one wants to arrange a reunion after they realise number 27 because of number 26!
  29. You’re probably planning a lavish 30th birthday but will probably sit crying mourning your 20s
  30. But really – can’t wait as being 30 is so sophisticated dahhhhling!

So raise your glass, dye your hair and embrace that you are about to enter the coolest decade of your life. 30 is the new 20, right?! Remind me in November.

B xx

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  1. 5th May 2015 / 6:34 am

    I’m 30 in august and do a lot of these things already! haha xx

  2. 5th May 2015 / 9:45 am

    Oh I can totally relate to this, I am 30 in November – but shhh don’t tell anyone. It’s interesting that certain birthdays just seem like bigger milestones. I hope that my 30’s are as fun and as happy as my 20’s have been =)

  3. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    5th May 2015 / 9:53 am

    Ha ha ha this is amazing. 18 I do on a weekly basis, massively inappropriate ha xxx

  4. 5th May 2015 / 11:37 am

    Great post! Remind me of these things in June xx

  5. 5th May 2015 / 6:52 pm

    hahaha! So true! There is no hope for me. I’m 36 in November. lol

  6. 5th May 2015 / 8:10 pm

    Heehee, I actually really liked being 30, it felt proper grown up but without being too old, plus I got married and we moved into our forever home 4 weeks after I turned 30.
    Now I’m 35 and it’s all going downhill as I realise 40 is getting too close for comfort (sob). xx

  7. 5th May 2015 / 8:26 pm

    Brilliant post. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh out loud or cry at times.
    I can so relate with numbers – 6,7,8,17,24. I thought everyone carried bag’s for life nowadays, nope just us oldies

  8. rachel
    5th May 2015 / 8:51 pm

    LOVE this post lol! numbers 1,2 and 12 definitely! plus many others lol! I am 34 and still don’t shop in Marks and Spencers though! Not quite THAT old yet lol xx

  9. Sarah Jayne Pelham
    6th May 2015 / 5:51 pm

    Its scary how many boxes I tick at 27! This especially is the one that makes me most teary eyed…

    “Your friends are either getting married, having babies or running marathons.”

    I feel totally behind and still like a child in some sense. I can’t quite afford to move out until atleast august with my fiancee, can’t afford to marry yet and feel my baby clock is running out of batteries from ticking overtime for so long. Boo 🙁

  10. 6th May 2015 / 9:34 pm

    I am 28, and all of these are true for me…..

  11. 8th May 2015 / 6:15 am

    Nodding along here like those toys on the dashboard 😉 but I’m 36 in July *sob* #thelist

  12. Determined Housewife
    8th May 2015 / 6:19 am

    Haha! I’m not too far off 30, and I can relate to many of these 🙂 But, happily I will deal with turning 30, it’s just a number! So, when it gets a bit closer I’ll see how I feel then haha…

  13. 8th May 2015 / 6:19 am

    Lol, I’m 36 tomorrow and I can relate to a lot of these, so very true! I started university half my life ago which I’m slightly shocked by – it really doesn’t feel that long ago!

  14. 8th May 2015 / 6:36 am

    As someone firmly in my 30s I can confirm this is my life! 🙂 #TheList

  15. 8th May 2015 / 7:08 am

    Haha this list is brilliant! I am 25 (nearly 26 although I hate to admit it) & can relate to most of these.
    I can’t believe how different life is in mid-late twenties compared to early twenties.

    I think by the time i’m 30 this will be all true!

    Life Unexpected


  16. 8th May 2015 / 11:37 am

    Lovely list and so true.
    I still have 1 1/2 years in front of me before I turn 30 but hubby keeps reminding me. #TheList

  17. 8th May 2015 / 8:25 pm

    I love this, I will be 28 this year and can relate to pretty much all of the above. xx

  18. 9th May 2015 / 7:37 pm

    this made me giggle and how bad that at only 22 half of these apply to me already whaaaaa!

  19. 12th May 2015 / 6:19 am

    I don’t know if I’m happy about this post or sad as it’s reminded me I’m turning 30 next year?! I relate to almost every point. I will say I have no grey hairs though (us blondes are lucky!) 1-10 are spot on. Ashamed that 14, 15 and 6 are also spot on! Fab post hun xxx #TheList

  20. Megan - Truly Madly
    12th May 2015 / 7:18 pm

    Number 6 made me howl! I am 40 and still saying a lot of these – I obvs don’t want to grow up!


  21. 13th May 2015 / 1:49 pm

    BRILLIANT! I’ll be 29 in June but 30 is fast approaching (how?! why?!)

    Oh how I miss those pitchers of WoosWoos!! #TheList

  22. 14th May 2015 / 1:02 pm

    Hehee – you really got me with the 1998 bit WTF??!? I have to say some of these (wet wipes and clubbing?!) may well also be due to motherhood 😉 My best mate is turning 30 in a few weeks – I can’t wait for the party!! Have an amazing time and make the most of it!

    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

  23. 14th May 2015 / 8:46 pm

    Do you know I went in new look the other day and I kid you not I said to Little G “G this would fit you it is so blimin tiny” It was the teeniest tiniest crop top I have ever ever seen. Who wears them????? #TheList

  24. 21st May 2015 / 3:48 pm

    I nodded along to every single one, and now I really want a woo woo!
    Brilliant post, it’s amazing to reflect back on life, I mean, how the hell was 1998 17 years ago, that just doesn’t make any sense!

  25. Ally Messed Up Mum
    22nd May 2015 / 6:14 pm

    I love this post! I began to read it thinking (hoping) I wouldn’t be able to relate to much of it but I really really could! I sat chuckling to myself, the realisation of being almost 30 sinking in more and more with each point made. Well done for being linked up to #sundaysharefest! x