Burning Kate Middleton Baby Questions

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Ah another Royal baby is on the way at the end of the month and the media are starting to go into a baby overdrive. Prince George is so blimmin cute with his chubby cheeks and little grin but let’s face it – Kate is somewhat Goddess like. With her impeccable fashion, flawless make up and perfect baby bump whilst we all waddle about living in flip flops and plus size maxi dresses but with the tabloids incessantly speculating on due dates and the gender (yawn!) I’ve compiled the burning questions we all would REALLY like to ask her… So Kate:

1) Do you tuck your belly into your knickers?

2) Do you throw on your pjs watching Jeremy Kyle whilst letting Prince George eat Lego and draw on the palace walls in biro?

3) Does your stomach drop when Camilla rings to say she will be over in 10 and your palace is a tip?

4) Do your eyes minus make up look like you’ve gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson?

5) Do you and Wills have a massive row over who gets the coveted Sunday lie in?

6) Do people tell you that you’re mental for having another mini prince/princess so close together in age?

7) Are you wondering if Wills too has the ginger gene and if  the new HRH sproglet will have a shock of red hair?

8) Is Harry the favourite uncle?

9) Are you allowed to get piles if you’re royalty?

10) Have you ever dispatched a royal servant to go get a KFC and a massive tub of gravy at 11.30pm?

11) Did Great Grandad Phillip make the age old “did they put an extra stitch” joke first time around?

12) Which family member bought the best gift for Prince G?

13) Is toddler role play of King and Queen dress up frowned upon?!

14) Do you and Zara have the old Breast vs Formula chat?

15) Do people tut at you when Prince George has a meltdown in the aisles of Tesco no, Waitrose, no. Erm. The 33 acre field at the back of your third house?

16) Mr Maker or Mr Bloom?

17) Peppa Pig or Ben and Holly?

18) Do you get your labour nighty and underwear from Primark so you can throw it away straight after?

19) Have you ever put your phone in the fridge and forgotten all about it in a state of sheer exhaustion?

20) Do you ever wish you weren’t part of the royal family so you can endure the HELL that is soft play as it’s seen as a right of passage to spend at least 2 hours in what is essentially a padded cell?

21) Do you wish you could go out in your slobs, greasy hair and no make up, because you just can’t be bothered after spending 16 hours a day with your head down the toilet?

22) Is everyone telling you how they really want you to have a girl because then you’ll “have one of each”?

23) Do you get your nappies in Aldi or stock up at the Tesco baby event?

24) Do you send Wills out to the Next sale at 5am to get the next size up clothes?

25) Does Prince George have the knack of pooing JUST as you set off for a long car drive?

26) Do you purée or are you a diehard BLW fan?

27) Ever had baby sick go down your bra?

28) Have you ever rocked up to a royal event with baby sick down your sleeve?

29) Will baby number 2 have all Prince G’s hand me downs?

30) Do you wish you weren’t constantly asked such inane ridiculous pointless questions?

…and that’s my cue to leave!

B xx

 

Ps – please do not banish me to the the Tower of London please. Cheers!

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26 Comments

  1. 14th April 2015 / 6:22 am

    I don’t often say this but LMAO. There are questions there I haven’t even thought of asking but now I am desperate to know the answers to. This should go viral.

  2. 14th April 2015 / 9:50 am

    What do you think?? Do you reckon she does all of this? Ha ha brilliant!! Love this. I can imagine you asking her! Fab post! xx

  3. 14th April 2015 / 2:22 pm

    This is brilliant! I would love to know the answer to these, I wonder if you could sent it to her PR!? Ha ha. When she and Wills lived here in North Wales she used to be seen shopping in Waitrose! My Grandma went on about it every week as she lives close by and she loves the royal family. Great post 🙂 xx

  4. Elaine mcghee
    14th April 2015 / 6:29 pm

    Beth this is amazing best blog post I’ve read in a long time so glad I clicked on it thanks for putting a smile on this miserable tired newborn mummy face! Xxx

  5. 14th April 2015 / 7:25 pm

    Surely no mother is exempt from getting baby sick down their bra?! Fab questions – they made me giggle x

  6. 14th April 2015 / 9:10 pm

    My fave one of these is Mr Maker or Mr Bloom?! I wonder also if she was ever hassled by a Bounty rep post George?!! X

  7. Rebecca
    14th April 2015 / 9:53 pm

    Absolutely love this. So original and very hilarious x x

  8. 14th April 2015 / 10:17 pm

    This is hilarious! Love it 🙂 x

  9. 15th April 2015 / 9:40 am

    Love this post, made me laugh so much… and I am now really really wanting to know the answers, I think it’s only fair you get answers to your questions!!

  10. 15th April 2015 / 10:12 am

    Love it! You’re right: Kate’s beautiful/stylish/etc blah blah blah. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

  11. 15th April 2015 / 6:50 pm

    I absolutely love this post. Hilarious. Can we as the taxpayers demand the answers?! x

  12. 16th April 2015 / 8:30 pm

    This really made me giggle Beth, I wonder if anyone ever does ask her these “normal” questions. Do you reckon she’s sat at home now in pair of scruffy trackies with her hair in a scrunchie with a brew, I like to think so xx

  13. 17th April 2015 / 6:11 am

    Love this and would be so great if we could have some answers to them

  14. 17th April 2015 / 8:01 am

    He he I would love to know the answer to some of these! Bet she doesn’t tuck her belly in her pants though…

  15. 17th April 2015 / 9:30 am

    Brilliant, by far the best post I’ve read all week or even this month!!
    So funny, I laughed out loud start to finish 🙂
    Particularly like no.11 *Cringe moment*
    #TheList

  16. 17th April 2015 / 4:42 pm

    This fab!! I would love to know her answers 😉 Especially the soft play one!
    #TheList
    Becky xx

  17. 17th April 2015 / 8:40 pm

    Utterly brilliant, made me lol-imagine Wills in the Next queue at 5am. Hope Kate stumbles across this, she would love it. Popping over from Pottymouthed Mummy’s blog x

  18. 19th April 2015 / 8:45 pm

    Great post! I loved it and I would love to know the answers to all these as I can totally relate to them all xx #thelist

  19. 21st April 2015 / 11:11 am

    So funny, Beth! I really am desperate to know all her answers to these questions! Sick in the bra? Surely a rite of passage. I loved the 33 acre field bit. Fab post lovely! x

  20. 23rd April 2015 / 6:56 pm

    Hahaha! These questions made me laugh soooo much, I wish their PR wasn’t so tight, you should definitely be asking these 😉 Thanks for linking up to #TheList

    xxx

  21. 26th April 2015 / 11:51 pm

    lol … imagine is she actually reads and answers your questions 🙂 I’m almost sure she doesn’t get her nappies from Aldi :-). Nice one.

    Well done on being featured on #TheList

  22. 1st May 2015 / 6:27 pm

    Oh, this is so funny. I would love to know the answers!