Happy birthday Dad. You’re 61 today – wow! From 60 to 61 our lives have suffered irreparable damage and change. We are only just starting to lift our heads and peep out into the abyss that now surrounds us.
Last February we all gathered and spent the day together. This year will be the same. But one less face at the table. One less meal to order. One massive part of us all missing.
You’re the last out of us all to have to experience the first birthday and milestone without it. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. No card with her name on. No present expertly wrapped. No…her.
I hope you have a lovely birthday. We all smile and wish you a happy day masking our aching hearts and broken smiles. We all feel the underlying heartache as we gather together for such an occasion.
The main question still remains – when is this supposed to get easier? Everyone keeps saying it gets better over time; for me it’s the opposite. I don’t like this new kind of normal. I don’t like it at all.
I want my old life back. My old life with her in it.
Happy birthday Dad. Please try not to be sad; we are all here feeling the same raw gut wrenching pain with you