Twin Jealousy

My girls are 19 months old now. Writing that sentence makes me feel rather uneasy I have to admit but they are and whilst the crazy all night feeding and changing days are (thank god!) a long way behind us, we are facing new challenges – ones I hadn’t quite anticipated so soon.


The girls are becoming incredibly possessive of me and get jealous of the other when sitting on me, reading with me or just generally trying to spend one on one time with me. And it’s so hard.

How do you do it? I know that twins more than anyone know the word SHARE as they’re doing it in the womb from day dot. But I find myself constantly telling them to share or wait. It’s very difficult to have one of your kids scream crying because they want to sit on your lap but their sister has nipped in their first. How do you try to placate them both? They’re too young to understand it all but it’s so difficult having to quickly put them to one side to stop the other one from making a break for the stairs as they’ve both mastered opening the living room door.

As a whole though they do get on. Don’t get me wrong there’s some spectacular ding dongs where I’ve literally had to peel them off each other but for every fight there’s a cuddle. It just feels hard as I don’t want them to perceive anything as favouritism; namely because P2 can be the more adventurous shall we say of the two so I often find myself darting off to catch her whilst the calmer P1 just wanted to sit and look at a book on my lap.

Pearls of wisdom anyone? Please?!

B xx

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  1. 16th January 2015 / 1:41 pm

    I wish I had some advice I really do! My twins turn 3 next month and they still have moments like this. I find they are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies, thankfully the majority of the time they play lovely and don’t like to be far from each other. Hope it all calms down a bit for you x #WotW

  2. 16th January 2015 / 3:28 pm

    You sound like you have your hands full.
    Not being a mummy yet I unfortuantly have no words of wisdom.
    I do hope this is just a short stage they are going through for you.
    Have a good weekend.

  3. 16th January 2015 / 4:47 pm

    Oh no, this sounds hard. Little Man went through this, too, but of course, his sister was bigger and just put up with it indulgently! It’ll pass, as I’m sure you know, but I do wish I could offer you more useful advice until such a time! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

  4. 16th January 2015 / 6:13 pm

    It sounds as if they’re going to keep you busy, I’m afraid I’ve no pearls of wisdom but hopefully it’ll be a short spell and they don’t wear you out too much.

  5. 16th January 2015 / 7:21 pm

    Aaah treasure — I really do sympathise. B&C went through this recently too… they turned 22 months this week, so are around the same age as your girls. I am very careful to try and spend equal amounts of time with them both. Sometimes it’s just not possible, depending on what’s going on, but if there’s a fight to sit on my lap, neither of them get to do it. They can sit either side of me and I’ll put my arms around both of them. I rarely say ‘wait’ but I do say ‘share’ — A LOT!!

    We don’t have stair gates anywhere in the house, except on the door to the snug, which is where they spend most of their time. It ensures that they can play safely in there and I don’t have the worry of one — or both — of them rampaging loose around the house. Maybe this would be a solution for you?

    If they’re both contained and can’t get out of the living room, it will certainly make life easier for you!! You can then spend time with one, without the other escaping! 😉 X

  6. 16th January 2015 / 8:11 pm

    G has been through this stage and Baby L is now starting it. If I am cuddling her dad or her sister she comes running over and shoves them out of the way. The only thing I can say is that you have 2 legs and they will have to share the cuddle. Options are great- say they can either both sit or get down- their choice. I’m betting they will choose to share. x

  7. 16th January 2015 / 8:46 pm

    It does sound like you have your hands full…
    I don’t really have any advice but I know when my youngest was little she used to be obsessed with opening the living room door to the stairs my fella took the door handle off and put it back on upside down…That stopped her for a while….hehehe x

  8. 16th January 2015 / 9:50 pm

    I wish I could offer you some useful advice. I’ve got 2 little girls, 19 months apart and I just try so hard to have one of each knee. We say the word ‘share’ a lot in this house too! Good luck and thanks for sharing x

  9. 16th January 2015 / 10:42 pm

    This sounds so hard – I have similar moments with my two sometimes and I think it is probably just a phase that will pass – hopefully it won’t last too long x

  10. Leandra
    17th January 2015 / 10:25 am

    Wow, these challenges are difficult for just one so I can’t imagine how difficult it is with 2! I certainly don’t put myself forward for mother of the year or have any twin experience, so can’t give you any advise but what I can say is that you are doing a great job and I’m here if you need a rant or ‘Beth Time’ 😉 xxx

  11. 17th January 2015 / 12:41 pm

    Awww sounds a bit hard. I really don’t know what advice to give as sharing is something that I had a hard time teaching my son as well. I just told him that if wont share he wont get any at all. So he learned patience. But it took us way too long.

    Goodluck and I hope that things will be better soon. #wotw

  12. 18th January 2015 / 11:58 am

    I don’t have any words of wisdom I’m afraid but I wanted to tell you that you deserve a medal! I struggle with one. Keep up the good work! xx

  13. 18th January 2015 / 6:48 pm

    Oh dear, such a tough time for you. I’m afraid I have no words of wisdom, but I hope things improve soon x

  14. 22nd January 2015 / 2:44 am

    I wish I could offer advice. My boys were actually really good at sharing me at this age, but their little sister has been awful. If ever either of the boys want to come and sit on my knee for a cuddle (which still happens even though they’re 5 now) she gets so angry and tries to force them off so she can come and sit on my knee instead. She thinks I’m 100% hers all the time – this gives them a chance to wind her up by coming up to me for cuddles just to see her reaction! As time passes though she is relying on me a bit less and choosing them instead – for example if we’re out and about and she doesn’t want to hold my hand, she will often happily hold one of their hands instead. It’s very sweet seeing their relationship developing. All I can say is carry on as you are and the next phase will bite us all in the bum just as we’ve got used to this one. xx

  15. 5th March 2015 / 9:37 am

    Hi there! My girls are 4y old. 2 wasn’t a bad age for us, but if both wanted to sit on my lap at the same time, I let each sit on one leg! It is impossible to treat 2 individuals the same and one shouldn’t- they will each need more at different times. X