You know you let alone your littlies are completely and utterly under the kids tv spell when you start doing the following without even realising:
1) You know the channels numbers off by heart.
Many a time will I be shouting “614” from the kitchen to my husband without slight hesitation. I find myself when I rarely am alone with the sky remote too delving into the 6_ _ channels. It’s like my fingers can’t help but dial in those 3 digits… God help me when we go away and it’s freeview. There’s frantic moments when I’m dialling in 620 and Peppa Pig isn’t on loop. WHAT NUMBER IS CBEEBIES ON FREEVIEW? Help me out people. I feel a cold sweat coming on at the thought…
2) When channel 620 ISNT Peppa Pig month
What do you mean it’s not wall to wall endless Peppa episodes? Yes we all secretly think Ben & Holly is far funnier but my kids don’t. They want that bossy pink bacon fiend on loop; 24/7. Yes I will even suffer the adverts so long as I know at any given hour of the day Peppa will be there oinking away and giving all parents time to cry into a cold cuppa.
3) When you can sing all the words to EVERY show
Why has no one done this on Britains Got Talent? I would be fully impressed if someone managed to get through the full tune of “Me Too” with no mistakes. I thought id cracked it but alas, I was making half of it up. I will do it Granny Murray…One day.
4) You want to be mates with Nanny Plum
Come on. Her dry sarcastic tones and the fact that she’s a woman totally owning that silly Wise Old Elf makes you want to be her friend. She would be a right hoot on a night out and imagine the fun with her magic wand… Just don’t let her by any vodka ‘jelly’ shots… We’ve all seen what she does with THAT
5) You start asking your husband which of the presenters he fancies.
We daren’t venture to Nickelodeon as they wear make up and are a tiny bit sluttier than the good old staple Cbeebies ladies. And even worse when you in turn start finding male presenters attractive – desperate times when even Mr Maker catches your eye…
6) When adverts come on and you know the voice instantly
Yes we are all looking at you Brian Blessed…You are only allowed to be Grampy Rabbit
Sigh. Bloody kids tv!