Christmas Card Politics

Charlie has been busy this week doing his Christmas cards. Apparently now 6 (and one day!) year olds are quite selective on who they want to send them to, or as he puts it “the naughty kids” or the “good kids” (The next Santa perhaps?) so we had quite a rather short list – so like his Mother!!
But he will soon learn there is much more political nonsense that goes into those cards – BELIEVE ME!

These are the types of cards you are dealing with once your sprog/let(s) hit school. Not only that but you will need a dumper truck to bring home the masses of minuscule, tiny and quite frankly POINTLESS cards, that kids love and always choose – you know the ones; they are about 5 centimetres by 2 centimetres long and they NEVER sit properly on the card strings at your house – completely and utterly futile wretched things! Anyhoo when you open your kids book bag and find a pile of them be sure to look out for and categorise them as follows:

1) The “sent you one so you have to send one back” card
Always keep a stash of tatty cards back up cards for such disasters. You can create serious enemies if you snub someone’s kid in the card stakes. Luckily my son has the same name as another one in the class and there’s often a mix up/duplicates. Let’s just hope the other one doesn’t write his surname on the cards so I have a fail-safe back up; just steal the credit.

2) The ” hasn’t my 5 year old got super neat handwriting” card
Bah. Nothing worse than a kid whose b’s and d’s are the right way around (yup we are struggling!) and who hadn’t smudged all the writing with their sweaty pen gripping claws. It’s just a subtle way to show all the other parents how clever their kid is….Whilst mine doodles and forgets how to spell his own name which he’s managed on 17 other cards.

3) The “super brainy kids writing it ALL” card
See above. But this is worse. The Mom hasn’t written the ‘to so and so’ bit and also the ‘love from’ bit; they kid has done the whole thing. Take comfort in the hope that it probably took about 15 hours to complete and they now probably have ruined their parent-child bond forever based on a friggin Christmas card show off.

4) The charity cards/ last years cards/ handmade super crafty card quandary

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Will anyone remember if you dig out last years cards? Will they think you are tight if they’re that sad that they DO remember? Do you care?!?! A great tip though incase you are worried about being found out – check if the card has a date. Anything that says earlier that copyright 2010 – BIN EM. And never buy dated ones again. You live and learn eh?
Also – Don’t be friends with crafty folk. Yes I say this a lot but they do drag you down with their perfect parenting skills. They make your 59p for 4000 cards, which you can never open the envelope to shove the card in without ripping it to shreds, out the bargain bin look right cheap arse crap and will show you up. Charity cards also make you look like a caring sort of person so go with them. And it’s quite nice actually to support a charity when you know come 6th January they’ll be in the recycling box.

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Alternatively you could just do what one mom did last year – just write the kids name at the bottom of the card (no from or anything) and just hand them to the teacher to dole out. No name, no envelope – no effort. BINGO!

(Disclosure – that lazy arse mother shock horror wasn’t actually me. For once!!!!!!) Happy writing!

B xx

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10 Comments

  1. 11th December 2014 / 9:12 am

    Lol my 4 year insists on writing her own Christmas cards out and thankfully unlike most kids in her class {according to her daddy} Ella can write better than most of the kids there. *Not that I’m bragging or anything*. So when it comes to her writing out her Christmas cards my help is hardly, if at all required. *Bonus*xx

  2. Polly Mixtures
    11th December 2014 / 10:45 am

    Oh the fun that awaits me! Very humorous post, made me smile on a dull winters morning! x

  3. 11th December 2014 / 1:35 pm

    Haha, that’s such a brilliant post! I was thinking only this morning that 6yo only wrote 4 cards to his friends and made a note of the four names so that when the masses of minuscule cards that appear in book bags like by magic, we know who we have to (sorry he has to)reply to…

  4. 11th December 2014 / 2:52 pm

    Haha, this is so funny (and so true!)- I can never remember whether or not I sent the same card to someone last year, but since I have goldfish brain I’m hoping others will too! I’m dreading it when my two are actually old enough to have a go at writing Christmas cards, must take so long and I can imagine some serious blood, sweat and tears goes into it! #brilliantblogposts

  5. 11th December 2014 / 6:23 pm

    USE THE OLD ONES! You know my girl is in a Catholic school. Cards are banned!!! Whatever next? We were told this in September! Curse them. Actually to be honest it has done me a favour! x

  6. Betty and the Bumps
    13th December 2014 / 9:53 am

    There is nothing about Gwenn starting school that I am looking forward to! Life is complicated enough without me having to worry about this type of thing and I am always SO aware of offending people that I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope! x

    #thelist

  7. 13th December 2014 / 8:31 pm

    I have no idea what cards I was sent last year, so think it’s safe to use last years! I always do anyway 🙂 xx

  8. 14th December 2014 / 11:28 am

    This really made me laugh. It’s so true. I hate doing my own. My son hates doing his. I have to resort to bribery to get him to do them. I’m in no danger of being in the ‘clever kid’ category. Harry gets as far as Harr and runs out of room, so writes the y randomly at the top of the card!!! (He is only just 5 so maybe I should give him some credit!)
    Why do we do it?!
    #TheList

  9. 16th December 2014 / 1:56 pm

    Love this, wise words and you’ve reminded me I need to buy a classroom of 30 kids cards! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

  10. 19th December 2014 / 12:19 am

    I’m gonna bloody hate all this when the time comes, aren’t I? I don’t even send cards now really. Urgh but when you have to…? I recon that mum at the bottom totally has the right idea if I’m honest!!
    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xxx

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