I was talking to a friend at the school gates – discussing our husbands. Men, yes, beware. The school gates are THE place for scathing husband chats and mine did not escape this time. Both our husbands work away. I am used to this as I knew very early on when we first met that this is what he does. However, with twins and a 5 year old who has quite the social schedule it is starting to prove a tad trying to say the least.
My Mom was always there to help out so I guess fulfilled a role that a partner often fills but with little support now as everyone is usually at work, DH working away has become a lot harder. She hit the nail on the head by saying ‘it’s like being a single parent’ and it is.
Now I’ve been a single parent so I am in no shape of form trying to slate single parents in any shape or form. I know that regardless of what I moan about I do have the support of my husband and when he is here, we do get to be a family unit. I am not saying I’m doing it alone but it can sometimes feel that way. My husband usually gets up around 4.45am on a Monday morning and usually back around 6pm on a Friday evening. Charlie is in bed by 6.30pm and girls 7pm. Lately he has also been having to work Saturdays meaning that we get a sneak Sunday together but this can also be littered with work phone calls.
I know I’m awful to moan. He is doing it all for us and as a result of this I have been able to take voluntary redundancy from my job and stay at home and look after our children. The hardest part without a shadow of doubt is the loneliness.
I get into a routine of getting the kids clean, dressed, fed and at school in time. I plan meals in advance and make sure the cupboards are stocked but come 7pm and I’m sat on the sofa alone – that’s when it hits. You want to dissect your day and share that funny thing you saw and how you can’t believe you almost forgot this. Of course we can ring but it’s just not the same. And when you’re having a bad day – you just need a big hug.
I’m in a very lucky position that my husband is able to be the sole breadwinner – but I’d just like a little bit of time to enjoy it!