When I had my first baby I was the first out of my friends to have a baby so I didn’t have any other Mom’s that I knew so I decided to go to baby groups. And I really enjoyed them – well most, some were ridiculously clique-y – but on the whole I liked going to allow Charlie time with other kids but also to get advice and help. Charlie has even started school with some kids we met at these groups so it was really nice to have some familiar faces.
So armed with positive experience I’ve taken the girls a few times. But this time round it’s rather different. For a start – I have two babies. This causes a lot of fuss and answering the same questions every week. I have to admit I’m totally used to being asked these same questions everyone I leave the house so I don’t mind it so much. The thing I’ve found the most interesting though is “first child syndrome”
I sat at one group and listened to one Mom tell a story with sheer horror that someone had suggested her 10 month old eat a chip & all the other Moms agreeing. It’s all very competitive too – mine is almost crawling, mine eats this much, mine sleeps forever. And then it hit me. God. I was like this with Charlie!
He was never going to eat anything that was bad for him, never watch tv, spoke really early… Fast forward 5 years. Uh oh. It’s mad how with your first child you are willing your child on to leap from milestone to milestone – this time I don’t even want P1 to roll over (p2 has already mastered it!)
I found myself sitting very quietly in the group and smiling to myself thinking that all the good intentions will slowly fade into the background. Try taking your 4 year old to a kids party and tell them they can’t eat the sweets from the party bag or the cake… Righto!
It’s mad how relaxed you are the second (and third) time around. I’ve come to realise that your child eating a chip or watching tv isn’t the worse thing in the world. After all – THEY ARE KIDS! Let them be kids and stop thinking they need to live by some baby expert who would have you believe sugar is the devil and kids tv will addle their brain. Just let them have fun!