I can’t be the only one who has felt this entire week has been dominated by HEAT, oh the bloody heat indeed. As I write this, we have been treated to some rain and I even wore a jacket today. I know I shouldn’t moan but after being in what felt like a permanent state of hot, stickiness it is a welcome reprieve. I am looking forward to sleeping all night without having to peel myself off the bed and needing a fan on me 24/7. Tonight is our school BBQ so I’m looking forward to an evening with friends while the kids have a ball.

We have had some lovely days out as my husband has been working locally this week and had Wednesday and Thursday off. We went for a walk by the river to feed the ducks, lots of trips to various parks and also a day in Ironbridge. It’s been a lovely week indeed.

 


I read this anonymous post on the Save the UK Fire Service’s Facebook page. It is an account from one of the firefighters who attended the Grenfell Tower fire. It is an incredibly harrowing read. The firefighter was faced with a decision that people shouldn’t have to face. It’s so easy to criticise public services; the police, fire, ambulance all come in for such heavy critism and it’s easy to forget that these people are just ordinary human beings. With their own families and lives, who they go home to carrying such burdens of what they see and experience on a daily basis. It was hard to watch the tower block on fire, let alone have to go inside whilst it’s still a blazing inferno. Seeing and hearing things no one ever wants t face. I absolutely salute our public services and wish that they would be prioritised in this country as they do a flipping amazing job.

Seventeen glorious series of The Only Way is Essex on Netflix. Three episodes in and my husband is despairing. I have watched every sirs of TOWIE since it started, so I was intrigued to go back to the start and a) remember who were the original b) see how much works they’ve had done since it started! (Answer – a LOT! Lydia – what were you thinking?!)


We had a BBQ for Father’s Day and it was lovely to have all the family round. The air was filled with fun and laughter as the kids cousins came round to play. We got the paddling pool out and there was lots of chaos but they all had so much fun.
I headed back to the gym on Thursday after using the hot weather as an excuse. I have to say anyone who wants to go running NEEDS to add Tina Turner Proud Mary onto their playlist. It is the ultimate running song as the beat gets you going and you cannot help but run your heart out to it (I managed to restrain myself belting it out in the gym too!


I have struggled in the heat as my summer wardrobe isn’t as summer as I thought. I really had to dig through my wardrobes and on the hottest day, opted for my H&M charity shop denim dress which was a bargain at like £4 a few years back. I am massively self conscious of my legs, namely as I have two huge moles on them which used to make me so paranoid as a kid. I also have quite a wide frame (big shoulders and hips) so I really stepped out of my comfort zone wearing this without leggings.

I want to teach my three kids about body confidence. This is why I joined Slimming World to not only lose weight, but to feel healthier. I go to the gym regularly but I will always carry my C-section pouch and the tummy left by having huge baby twins in it. Aside from all this, I was too bloody hot to care!

My Charlie made me so proud this week at his Sports Day. They did a different kind of sports day this year where they all did little activities including the javelin, bean bag throwing, long jump and two track events – sprint and hurdles and I am so proud to say he won both! He was so chuffed as were we watching him. My husband was able to attend both Charlie’s and the girls, although as they’re in nursery they only did one little running race. This was eventful as my youngest decided to pull her hat over her head as she ran – it was somewhat hilarious to watch! We aren’t allowed to take photos at Sports Day so you will just have to imagine, and what a sight to imagine!


I am having my nails done for this first time in ages next week as we are off to my husbands friends wedding a week tomorrow. I am really looking forward to a bit of pampering not to mention the wedding itself. Lets hope the weather cools down but the sun still shines. Enjoy the last full week in June – eeek!
B x

Little Loves Coffee Work Sleep Repeat
Follow:

I had the moment all Parents dread on last week. You know the one, where you are standing waiting to pick up your kid and the teacher makes a beeline for you. It’s never good when they leave the classroom to collar you. I was hoping it may be telling me a funny little anecdote, but sadly it wasn’t. P1 had been naughty. Pretty damn naughty. She had hit a boy who is over a year older than her. My face dropped as I listened to the teacher say the word “whack” about four times and my face turned a fetching shade of crimson. No one wants that conversation. No one wants to be that parent with that child do they? I have a feeling I am going to have many more of these conversations in the years to come.

This is the first time I have ever known any of my kids to actually hit another child. Sure, they brawl with each other – what siblings don’t> But I guess with twins it’s another dimension as they’ve grown up with a constant companion so are very touchy feely with each other – in good and bad ways.

I want all of ym children to be independent, confident, kind and ultimately, themselves. This strong gut instinct of nurturing who they are had intensified ten fold since having identical twins. They are forever called the wrong name and getting mixed up, so I am even more determined to let their individual personalities shine.

There is no denying they are feisty young ladies. I don’t know if it’s a second/third child thing or a twin thing where they have the confidence to be that bit more braver and bolshier as they have back up. But they have plenty of sass, bags full of it.

It’s such a fine line to tread because whilst I don’t want to squash their big personalities, I don’t want them to be naughty and unruly. I want them to stand up for what they believe in. I want them to speak their minds. I want them to be strong, confident women – but does flouting the rules come with this territory? Can you really be a true representation of yourself if you don’t act on your impulses, stand up for yourself and challenge when someone does something you don’t agree with? At the end of the day, they have just turned four. They are the youngest in their nursery group and definitely deal with other children very differently to most others, given that they’ve never really had to go it alone. But am I excusing the fact that actually, P1 can be a right little diva? She throws her toys well and truly out the pram if she doesn’t get her own way. She likes to test the boundaries and is very hot headed. Luckily the boy who was involved in the incident didn’t get upset or cry. She apologised and was told this wasn’t OK. I echoed this when we got home, as I took her upstairs alone and we had a chat about it all and I explained that it’s not OK to hit people. I hope I’ve nipped it in the bud, but you never know.

Raising children is hard. I was very lucky that Charlie has never given me any grief. He’s such a good child and has never given me any grief. I knew from day one I was going to have my hands full with twin girls but I don’t think we’ve even reached the tip of the iceberg!

B xx

Follow:

I read back the post I wrote when my girls turned three, so I felt it was fitting to write one this year. Girls, on your fourth birthday I can’t believe we are here. Now you are four, life is about to crank up a notch.

This past year, dare I say, has been easier. Being twins has really come into its own and you absolutely love playing together. Aided by the confidence you’ve picked up after nine months at nursery, you have strengthened your bond and become best buddies. This is not to say that you have isolated yourselves. In fact it’s the completed opposite; you love being together yet are more than happy to split off and play with other kids. You both tell me you have your own best friends and this does not cause any friction.

We have made the biggest decisions to date for you. Not only did we apply for your school place, we were given the choice to separate or keep you together in reception class. So many people have given their opinions on the situation but as your Mommy, I hope I have made the right one. In my gut I know it is and I know it’s not forever and can easily be changed.

I won’t lie, I have been dreading you turning four as I know what being four brings – school. I have been so incredibly lucky to stay at home with you since the day you were born. I never went back to work after opting for redundancy so our little gang has been all we have known for the past four years. We are a few months off this being completely changed, and you are no longer “mine” to decide what we do each day. You are about to be bound by school restrictions and six days away from me in the week. But girls? You are going to love school. You already have proved how well you’re doing at nursery with your writing and reading, I am amazed that you are just turning four with how academic you are. My dearest baby girls. Four years ago, our world was changed beyond belief. The last four years we have made some of the most amazing memories.

P1; you sure know how to throw a tantrum., From refusing to have your hair brushed or tied up, to hating jeans and dresses, to your panda love. You are such a character. Your wry sense of humour shines through and you’ve really perfected your comedy timing. Your Samoa Joe impression with the tights is also a notable highlight! Your relationship with your big brother has flourished this year, and you are thick as thieves. You still look our for your brother and sister and are definitely the more cautious of them all. You like to Mother them in fact! You have a pug obsession to run alongside your love of pandas and the Lion Guard. You are often found playing with your little figures and playing games. You absolutely loved our trips to Disneyland Paris and Butlins and talk about them daily. You are very black and white – you either like someone or you don’t! You know your own mind and won’t be coerced into doing anything you don’t want to. You still give the most amazing cuddles, not to mention kisses on my forehead as I leave you at nursery. My biggest girl.

P2; you have surprised me this year. Notoriously against anything you deemed as “girly” you have changed a lot this year. The dinosaur love is strong, but so is your blooming love of dresses. You are intrigued by Nanny’s jewellery and make up. You are still very confident and happy to play with everyone at nursery. You have fallen in love with babies and are forever wanting to go visit baby Dexter for cuddles. You love a Disney singalong and have become a real Daddy’s girl, always going to him for snuggles. You are happy to play on your own, making up little games and conversations with your figures. You seem the most excited about school and I know you’re going to have a huge group of friends as are happy to float in-between groups. You still love dogs and would love nothing more than a pet one. You still seem so dinky, my baby baby girl.

Happy fourth birthday baby girls. We love you more than you’ll ever know.

B xx

Follow:

As I have mentioned a billion times, my twin daughters are due to start full time school this September. They turn four next month, so will be one of the younger ones in their year but they are more than ready. They currently spend every afternoon at the nursery attached to the school so are familiar with the building and the routines so I am hoping come September it’ll be an absolute breeze for them. But for me it’s going to be a very different situation.

How Can You Be A Stay At Home Mum When Your Kids Are At School?

In September, my stay at home Mum title expires. I will be at home full-time, but my children won’t be. I will still continue to drop off at 8.45am but I will be coming home to an empty house. There won’t be two little hellbats running around causing chaos like there has been for the past four years. I am staying at home with no one to parent. I keep wondering myself how can I be a stay at home parent; does my title now become “unemployed?” housewife?” “jobless bum?”

How Can You Be A Stay At Home Mum When Your Kids Are At School?

I am constantly asked if/when I will get a job. People seemed to do this as soon as the girls started nursery but when I pointed out that I actually am only really available from 1pm until 3pm therefore not very employable, they backed off. But as we hurtle towards school, the questions are more frequent and my answers aren’t that easy to give. I constantly feel like I ned to justify myself.

When asked what I do, I feel the need to explain my situation and that people automatically assume I’m lazy or will be claiming benefits. I have always worked. From when I left college, within weeks I took on a temporary job at the local Council typing up fraud tapes. I then went to processing housing applications and never left. I applied and was appointed as a full-time Housing Officer where I then went on to complete a degree in the field. Yet when I became pregnant with twins and childcare was not an option due to my Mother’s cancer diagnosis and extortionate nursery fees for two babies, I opted for voluntary redundancy. I had worked at my career for 8 years and gave it all up.

I don’t regret it for one second as I have been so privileged to be able to raise my babies. To drop Charlie off at school every day, to see all his plays, sports days and assemblies. To be able to dash and pick him up if needed. To have the luxury to take my girls out as and when with no restrictions. I have been so lucky, yet as they grow older I am now on my own. Four years without a career is hard. Even contemplating going back to work is an alien concept. Plus regardless of me being free Monday to Friday 9am until 3pm, what happens in school holidays? Sickness? PD Days? We do not have the option of family childcare and childcare for six weeks for three children surely wouldn’t be financially beneficial.

I am angry. Angry that I have let myself feel so belittled when people suggest that I should get a job. Angry that they presume because I don’t, I will be sucking the system dry. I am angry there is such a stigma. I am angry that no matter what you do, someone feels the need to make you feel like crap.

I went back to work after having Charlie so know what it’s like to be a working parent. I also know what it’s like to be a stay at home parent. But I don’t know what it’s like to stay home without babies around you.

I am dreading September.

B x

Follow:

Three years ago today was the last time I saw or spoke to my Mom. Three years since she took her last breath. Three years since I could see her, hold her hand, tell her I love her. Three years have passed and so much has changed in these three years.

I miss my Mom more than I could ever describe. We had such a close bond that it will be impossible to ever get over the loss I’ve experienced. I will never be able to full accept that at 28 I was left Motherless. My five year old and ten month old twins lost their Granny and our family was changed forever.

Three years have passed, but I don’t feel the crushing sadness I did three years ago. All everyone seemed to say was that time would help and I couldn’t;t understand why they were saying it. No time was ever going to help. The only thing that would help would be her back here and that it was all a horrible dream. But you know what? It does help.

I no longer feel as angry and whilst I still have that horrific thud in my chest where I feel short of breath and my eyes leak in utter devastation at how much I miss her – these are not as frequent as they once were.

In typing this, I feel like I am admitting I’ve got over he death and it’s time to move on. I’m not. It reads as though I[‘m forgetting her – I’m not. Not at all. I think of my Mom now more than ever, but the difference is I smile in doing so. I feel so lucky that I had such a fantastic Mom and so many wonderful memories to last a lifetime. My Mom got to see me get married and stood beside me on my wedding day. She got to meet and love her three beautiful Grandchildren that were the apple of her eye. I feel privileged to be her daughter.

There are times when I am lost. When I’d give anything in the world to turn to her for advice then I realise – I have her instinct. Her intuition and I know that whilst I lost her wisdom far too prematurely, she instilled it all in me. I learnt from the best and I am able to apply it to my children. Except the having friends over _ I always said when I had kids I’d let them have their friends over whenever they wanted – proved you wrong Mother!!

At the age of 59, my Mom was too young to die. She had so much to live for and with my babies off to school in September, it would have given us the opportunity to strengthen our bond. She would have stood beside me giving me the strength to wave them off onto their big journey. On that day, somewhere I know she will be thinking exactly the same as me, whilst bursting with pride. Her baby’s babies off to school. How old are we all getting?!

Grief has gotten easier but the loss still stings. I don’t ever want it to stop stinging and know it won’t because that signifies the colossal impact she had on our lives. Three years ago our world fell down around us, yet here we are. Standing strong, smiling and being guided by the best one of all.

B xx

Follow:

As you read this, I’ll be in the car on my way to Blackpool! I decided that I would pack the kids up and go on an adventure. Minus the husband. I have decided that No Fear Parenting is the way forward.

You see, my girls will be 4 in around 8 weeks time and whilst they still love a good old tantrum, life with twins is starting to feel, dare I say it outloud, easier? They go off and entertain each other and love to make up games so I am often left as a spare part. Throw big brother into the mix, and they’re set. There’s is still lots of bickering but they do all get on really well and love to spend time with each other.

No Fear Parenting

With a two week Easter holiday spanning and my husband about to go CRAZY at work meaning he’s going to be away loads and not have any time off, I decided on a whim to book us a hotel stay. I have never taken the kids away overnight on my own before so it’s either going to go one of two ways.

FRICKIN AWESOME

I am going to come away feeling like Supermom having survived a trip away with three kids and a 5.5hour round trip to the Las Vegas of the North. We will all giggle, scream and have so much fun riding rollercoasters, walking down the beach and spying the tower. It will be the way forward and no dear parenting will well ands truly be activated. Or

I WILL HAVE A MELTDOWN

There’ll be tears, tantrums and probably a Mom glugging wine in the bathroom as flying solo proves all too much when everyone wants to do different things and I haven’t got enough arms or patience to cope with them all.

I really am hoping for numero uno and we can all come home happy but you never know. It’ll be a good experiment and hopefully be the start of some fun times in the future.

Wish me luck!

B xx

Follow:

Despite being 5’7, I have ridiculously tiny size 4 feet. They really are dinky but this definitely has its plus points as I can buy cheap kids shoes and trainers.

Yesterday, we went to get the kids feet measured. It seems that small feet seems to be running in the family. I remember Charlie’s feet growing incredibly slowly when he had small and yet again, my girls haven’t gone up. At almost 4, they are still a size 8. However they really need some new shoes for nursery. We were given loads of shoes so have been working our way but they’re still primarily wearing boots a lot so we needed to opt for something more summer-y.

It was rather spooky that when they were measured not only were they the same size as each other, but the same foot was slightly bigger down to the exact millimetre – they really are identical twins!

The girls absolutely loved choosing their shoes and despite having her heart set on a pair of sparkly pink flamingo shoes, they didn’t have them in her width so they both opted (again!) for funky dinosaur pumps. I love Clarks doodles as they are machine washable as I’m anticipating lots of park trips, so they’ll soon be looking filthy!

Charlie too had his feet measured and has only gone up half a size since having his school shoes last August. I’ve ordered him some new trainers as I refuse to pay the extortionate prices for fitted trainers. Sports Direct sell Nike and Adidas for half the price!!

I also got the girls a cheap pair of canvas type shoe just for nursery. They were £6 each so I’m sure they’ll probably not even last two months but you never know. Fashionista kids like mine always like to pick their own clothes so options are always a good idea!

B xx

The Ordinary Moments
Follow: