When you bring a brand new human into the world, everyone makes allowances for you. Forgetting to text back, not getting out of your PJs by midday, constantly looking like crap – it’s fine, you’ve got a newborn! If you are crazy enough to have twins, then people make HUGE allowances for your state of permanent zombie-fication and the fact you are barely coherent for the first year. But you see, as each year passes people’s sympathy wanes and I have found right now, that quite frankly no one gives a give that your three-year old doesn’t sleep.
In fact, people look at you like you’re a pretty crap parent! When I rock up on the school run with eye bags, that are now so deeply ingrained I look poised to spring into Halloween action sans face paint at any given opportunity, everyone wonders why. You see my twin daughters are now three years and seven months old and go to nursery for three hours every afternoon. Instantly, I have been propelled into this “lucky cow” status as I get a few hours to myself. They’re growing up, gaining independent “soon be out of your hair” Hooray I feel like saying on crap days, but in reality, I’m shattered.
My kids don’t sleep.
Yep, my pair who are due to start SCHOOL in September rarely wake up in their own beds. I genuinely cannot remember the last time where I woke up and wasn’t hanging off the edge OF A SUPER KING SIZED BED with two monkeys laying horizontally and kicking out like the karate kid every few minutes. I wake exhausted, but no one really cares anymore. I have given up moaning now because a) who wants to hear it b) people constantly offer me advice c) look down their noses at our wild routine. But that’s just it, we have a really good routine.
Bath, book, bed. By 7.30pm everyone is asleep. Granted, I sit on their floor reading out loud until they drift off but that for me is actually quite nice to be there whilst they drift off. But you can bet your life that come midnight, someone will be creeping across the landing and sneaking into my bed. In a permanent state of tiredness, a humongous bed and a husband that works away I don’t often realise that someone has got in until I feel a swift crack across the chest as they start wriggling about. In a daze, I can’t always summon the energy to take them back into their own bed.
Three years, seven months. I never imagined my kids still wouldn’t sleep through in their own beds. It’s expected of small babies and young toddlers but it’s not really spoken about as they get older as people jump to conclusion. Just as with a small baby, if you get one that sleeps you are given an imaginary perfect parent crown; I know because my son slept through pretty much from 6-7 weeks old. I used to wonder why the hell people found parenting hard work. He sleeps, it’s simple! Man, do I hate first baby me. All smug with no eye bags and waking refreshed as I sprung out of bed – what a cow! But it’s true. People used to ask me for tips on how to get their baby to sleep. Funnily enough, no one asks me this time round. Just pitiful and snooty glances.
I should have sorted it out by now is what I reckon people think. I have honestly tried EVERYTHING but P1 especially is not one for sleeping. She never has been. From a tiny baby, she was always so much harder to get to sleep and to stay asleep. Her twin like now slept much easier and longer, but I think she’s often disturbed by her sister moving about.
I have resigned myself to the fact that this is it for now. It won’t happen forever and whilst co-sleeping at this age really isn’t my ideal, it’s what is happening. I’m hoping one day I won’t wake up exhausted and people will realise that getting your kid to sleep just isn’t always that easy! I know I may moan and you probably think I’m doing it all wrong.
All I seem to do is moan; the past four years moan moan moan and I am sick of hearing myself do it. I know people don’t have much sympathy for parents of a three year old who doesn’t sleep – just give me an extra wide berth in a morning! I have come to the conclusion however that no one really give a sh*t if your three year old isn’t sleeping probably because they have a kid that doesn’t sleep either or have had one that hasn’t. It’s hard, but parenting is hard. Time for me to pull my socks on, grab some serious tinted moisturiser and crack on with it, because before I know it they’ll be teenagers going out all hours giving me no sleep for a very different reason!!