I am hormonal. Very very hormonal. So this post is going to be rather nonsensical and a little ranty so you may want to look away now.
I have had a dull cloud hanging over me this week. Lots of very pointless things have really irked me and given me a somewhat blasé attitude which is never good. My husband has been away all week which has meant I’ve not really had any outlet to rationalise these silly niggles that have been festering away. I’ve not really done much this week, not strayed far from home at all. I feel like I’m slipping with Slimming World and whilst still on plan there’s been quite a few iffy days which have been tough not to throw the towel in and pig out. I haven’t been able to exercise as my ankle and knee felt incredibly dodgy so I made excuse after excuse only to find that after forcing myself on Friday to go for a run – they were fine. And actually I felt better for it – but had built up a wall of excuses beforehand. I worry my motivation is waning and I’m going to fail.
This week I am also so tired of one way friendships. I struggle to make friends, namely because I’m really quite socially awkward! With a very sarcastic sense of humour, people often mistake me and think I’m very rude or quite weird! But I do try but I reach a point where I don’t want to be the one always texting first or trying to make plans when I’m just fobbed off. It really bugs me and I then go to an extreme of complete avoidance. OTT? Perhaps but that’s how I deal with it. I just wish I had more friends to lean on.
I feel very out of the blogging loop. A negative mindset isn’t helping and although publishing this, I don’t want to keep posting depressing trash that I will cringe at in a few months.
The girls have a new found love of Finding Nemo and the motto “just keep swimming” is something I need to remember. Day to day with grey dull days can be hard especially on long weeks alone in the evenings. Spring needs to hurry up and cheer my downtrodden mood up.
What a difference a week makes. This time last week writing all about positive motivation and this week all doom and gloom.
I MUST channel my inner Nemo and Dory.