Sad Skinny Smiles

They say a picture tells a thousand words.

Since having the girls, I have been increasingly unhappy with my figure. I recently started Slimming World in a quest to lose weight and start being happy with myself. I scoured my Facebook for “thinspiration photos” of myself where I felt happy in my skin. But in this “happy with myself” quest I stumbled across a few photos.

In these photos I look very thin – bingo, just the photo I wanted you may think. However I look at these photos and not see someone who is skinny and body confident. I see someone who is skinny and is so because she is so desperately sad.

Around the time these photos were taken I was experiencing some of the darkest days. I was so thin due to extreme stress. I wouldn’t eat as I spent most days crying and not having time to eat as I was trapped in a life where I was never ever a priority just being used for others gain.

When I look at these pictures I see an empty hollow shell. Stuck in her life not knowing which way to turn for the best. Scared of being a failure. Not knowing how to be happy. Accepting her lot even though she knows it’s wrong and quite frankly pathetic. But just so achingly desperate to do the best for her little boy but making mistakes along the way. 

I may look at photos of me now in utter disgust; analysing and dissecting the number of double chins or the wobbly tummy and muffin top – but my eyes are happy. My life quite honestly is pretty awesome as a whole. I am content, secure and loved.

Yes I may not be happy with the larger reflection but I wouldn’t swap places with that size 6 girl in the photos, not in a million years. 

B xx

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  1. 18th June 2015 / 6:15 am

    What a beautiful post! It’s so much better to be a bit unhappy with your weight and happy than happy with your weight but unhappy! X
    Sharon Powell recently posted…Pushchair decisions!My Profile

  2. 18th June 2015 / 9:33 am

    Aww hun, I’m so glad you can be so reflective. It just proves our weight isn’t what makes us happy, it’s something we tend to focus on when we’re not happy xx
    Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…Inspiration | Nautical BathroomMy Profile

  3. Kate Cass
    18th June 2015 / 12:32 pm

    Thank you for this, it’s so important to just be happy with yourself as yourself, being a good person I’d the most important thing in the world.

  4. 21st June 2015 / 6:32 am

    Brilliant post, it’s important to be happy above everything else, it’s good to be healthy but I think it’s a really positive thing you can now see what you see from these photos. I have a friend who I really hope will start thinking the same soon! xx
    Laura Wilson recently posted…Happy Fathers Day!My Profile

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