Mummy Pig is the one who holds the Pig family together. She is kind, caring, knows where everything is, puts up with a rather dopey husband and is incredibly feisty (remember when they told her she would never win a teddy and she won them flipping all because she was told a woman wouldn’t win?!)
So I for one would love to tap into her calm, fun and pretty awesome parenting skills (ER hello – she puts up with Peppa as a daughter!) If only she was a Mummy blogger then maybe we would find out what she REALLY is thinking. We all know she is computer savvy and actually owns one; so I thought that some of her posts may read like this and they’d definitely have her in the Tots 100!
Why is my daughter so bossy?
“Readers I don’t know what to do. My pre-school pig girl is so incredibly bossy. I totally ignore it and let her be a bit of a brat on the whole but I’m just too nice to shout and glug gin out of the bottle. I know most other parents massively dislike her but for some bizarre reason other human children absolutely LOVE her and want to watch her 24/7. I know I shouldn’t moan – I mean I could have Edmond Elephant as a child so life could be A LOT worse but how on earth do I teach her to be a bit less… Annoying?
Thanks. Mummy Pig *snort*
- Why is my husband so incompetent?
“Readers, Is it just my bloke that is rubbish at DIY? I asked him to put up a picture last week and he put a full blown hole in the wall! He also has a rather large tummy. He is partial to a great slab of chocolate cake and is always having a nap despite my kids being up at the crack of dawn – any tips on how can I persuade him to possibly do a bit more exercise; I know there’s a sponsored run in the next few weeks to fix the school bus. I may may some enquiries about that.”
- Should I be worried my 2 year old only says the word ‘Dine-saw’ and growls/cries a lot?
“I thought I could reach out to you lot. I am starting to worry about my son. We had our health check last week with Dr Brown Bear (we are on private healthcare as he comes out sirens blazing for a cough don’t you know?) and whilst little George can blow a didgeridoo he doesn’t appear to say much bar mumblings about his toy dinosaur which by the way he never ever lets me wash. Even when left out in the rain and garden.
I am wondering if his lack of speech may be down to the incessant chatting done by his older sister and he just can’t get a word in.”
- How to keep your pig-sty tidy – by an actual Pig
“I thought I’d share a few tips about my cleaning schedule. With four piggies in my house and a husband who likes to lie on the sofa and eat chocolate cake, it all pretty much falls to me. However minimal items in the house is the way forward – it’s proper trendy and modern to be minimalistic. The kids only have one basket of toys between them which when they chuck everywhere we play a tidying game – girls Vs boys which usually takes about 23 seconds. We have hardly any furniture and live on top of a hill with no nearby neighbours so hopefully no one will ever just drop in.”
- Thrifty Tips
My tip is – only wear orange dresses. Similarly just buy your daughter a red dress, son a blue weird onesie thing and your husband a green extremely weird onesie. Rarely you can let them dress up or wear a football shirt but your staple item is the same orange dress; fashionistas if it ain’t broke…!
Also we only have tiny shreds of material for curtains that are never pulled – why fork out on ones that actually close?!
I think Mummy Pig would also be an expert at how not to flip pancakes (yes Daddy Pig we are looking at you) she would have hilarious Wicked Wednesday style shots of Peppa stuck in a tyre and her trapped in a blackberry bush, but I can guarantee one thing – she definitely wouldn’t be blogging any pork related recipes! SNORT