I am on a number of twin related Facebook groups and every so often there will be a discussion about “do you dress your twins the same” and it provokes some full blown arguments, fights and insults!
See dressing twins is an incredibly marmite topic and everyone seems to have a very definite opinion on it. You have team “it is so cute” vs team “you will mentally scar them for life”. You will get the occasional middle of the road person (which I would like to think I am) but in no uncertain terms do I think dressing baby/toddler twins the same will have a negative impact on their lives. Now that’s not a medically, scientifically or whatever else you want to say proven analysis – no it’s just my PERSONAL OPINION (just incase there’s any trolls in the house)
My girls are identical. We know this as I did a DNA test which again for the benefit of the trolls was our OWN decision that we made, namely so the girls will grow up knowing. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we wanted them to be either identical or fraternal (they’re our kids so we will kinda love them no matter what ok?!) So with being identical they’re the same gender which you may think is glaringly obvious but the amount of parents of boy/girl twins who say they are constantly asked if they’re identical is somewhat hilarious. But yes, two girls. After having a boy we exploded in overload of buying a different gender selection of clothes and I sort of went into autopilot and brought two of everything. I don’t think I ever consciously decided that I would dress them the same its just…happened. Most people when buying them clothes buy two of the same so they have a lot of matching items.
Personally I do not see that babies and toddlers are defined by their clothes – how can they – THEY ARE BABIES AND TODDLERS! They don’t particularly care what the hell they wear so reading articles citing that I am damaging my babies health and perception of themselves because they wore the same babygro – SERIOUSLY?!?
It’s yet again making an issue of something that really isn’t an issue! I have never made my children conscious of the clothes they put on (unless they are filthy!) and would hate to heavily influence them from such a young age that they can only wear a certain type of clothing such as the girls ONLY wear dresses etc. As time goes on the girls like all children will probably want to pick out their own clothes and choose what they want to wear and at no point will I throw myself to the floor weeping because they chose a different top thus ruining my cuteypie twin dream. No I will let them make their own decisions and if they want to make a statement when they are older via the way they dress or look then that is just fine!
In all honesty – I quite often dress the girls the same because it actually makes my life easier! Picture the scene – you’re at playgroup with 30+ other hyper toddlers running around and if they’re wearing the same outfit that makes them pretty easy to spot amongst hoards of other kids. And another rather huge reason – when I do dress them differently, already at 23 months they squabble over clothes! Today I chose the only Elsa top we have down and they started pulling it & P2 who didn’t get to wear it started crying as I placed it over her sisters head; yes just like most siblings you sometimes have to buy more than one of the same things so there’s not a huge scrap and it seems clothes are no different.
So all the preachy preachy posts about how my children will grow up to hate me as they wore the same dress – I refuse to buy into it. I hate the fact that it’s even a topic as to me clothes are not important and I know I have three individual children all with their own beautiful and crazy personalities. They are not going to be scarred by the same item of clothing. They will spend the rest of their lives being called the wrong name or being asked the same twin questions – let not make the issue of clothes yet another “thing” to make parents feel guilty about eh? Let kids be kids and when they are old enough to make their own choices then so be it.
But for the foreseeable – I’ll dress them just how I want (and also what is clean and ironed – matching is hard work!!!)