My Implant – A Right Pain in The Arm

Three years ago, three months after birthing twin girls I was all baby-ed out. A pretty hiuderous pregnancy coupled with two little people to add to my school bound son meant that my uterus was shutting up shop and it was time to do something about it.

After a quick flick of the internet, and knowing that following obstetric cholestatis I was unable to have an oestrogen based pill, I thought that having a nexplanon implant would be the simplest form of contraception. After booking in at the Doctors, I was all set but in hindsight I really wish I had done a bit more research.

Having it fitted was AGONY. As a whole, nothing really phases me pain wise. Tattoos, piercings, blood tests, needles, surgery – I’m fine and have quite a high pain threshold but I didn’t bank on how bloody uncomfortable it would be. For weeks after, I could “feel” it moving about but was told this was normal and it was just settling in. Despite the humungous bruise that completely filled my upper arm making it painful to use, it did settle down pain wise, but the biggest pain was yet to come.

Erratic periods. Now, in hindsight, I really should have had it removed sooner but all advice said that after 12 months my periods should settle down. They didn’t. They were so infrequent and so much heavier and brought with them terrible stomach aches which I had never had before. Again, I was told this was normal and it’ll all settle down. I also think it sent me a little…loopy. Around the hodge-podge days that I was bleeding I also became incredibly mardy and grumpy, more so than I ever have before. It’s only looking back now I can see how awful I have been the last three years. Mood swings don’t even cut it, I was a full on angry lady.

When I finally got round to getting it removed as it was needing removing as three years was nearly up, it decided to play up one final time.

They couldn’t get it out.

My doctors refused now to remove it, meaning I had to sit at our sexual health clinic which happens to be at the place where my sister works. I am by no means embarrassed but I did feel the need to tell everyone I saw who I knew that I was there for removal and not that I’d got the clap! I was asked to fill in a form which asked if my parents knew I was there and sit amongst spotty teens, it was an experience!

After what seemed an eternity, I was called and had to fill in more forms only to then lay on a bed and have a nurse try for over 40 minutes to be told it wouldn’t come out. Brilliant. I was poked, prodded and gouged pretty much for nothing. I was told I’d have to be referred to the Doctors in a fortnight to see if they could “dig it out”

It’s not been a pleasant experience for me and fortunately on Tuesday, the doctor got it out with minimal fuss and pain. I’m so glad it has gone. Anyone else had any problems?

I am finally implant free – hurrah. 

B xx

Dining Room Tables

We have now lived in our house for a whole year. In that year, we have slowly made changes and the house is now looking how I want it to. With a bathroom renovation imminent, we are also looking at changing the kitchen and need a new dining room table.

We have a large kitchen/diner and my pride and joy welsh dresser takes pride of place. However, I decided to upcycle our IKEA table and chairs set which was rather old and initially was a cheap dining room table and chair set for my first ever house. It was my first Annie Sloan project and whilst it has worked, as a family of five, we need a larger table and matching chairs! Poor Dad usually ends up perching on a garden chair when we sit down for our Sunday roast. It really isn’t ideal.

I have a huge problem when looking for dining room tables as I am massively torn; part of me loves the rustic country kitchen look with statement strong pine table and chairs but the other loves the sleek modern high gloss minimalistic look.

dining room tables
Traditional dining room table and chairs
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Disney Sofia the First Toy Range

As you know, we are off to Disneyland Paris in a few months, so we are completely binging on all things Disney. We were very kindly sent a load of Disney Sofia the First Toy Range goodies to try out from the lovely folks at Jakks Pacific meaning I had two very happy little ladies!
Disney Sofia the First Toy Range

P1 is the girlier of our twins so she bagged the Sofia The First Royal Tiara (RRP. £6.99) for herself. When we went on an afternoon our to Ironbridge, she decided she wanted to be chief Princess…and photographer! As a bloggers daughter, she loved the Sofia The First Royal Camera (RRP. £9.99) You just look through the viewfinder to see eight scenes featuring Sofia and her friends in her colourful fun world. The camera also include a removable lens and real camera sound effects so she was clicking along with me. It’s really light and easy to grip so she was happy to carry it around with her on our day out. Continue reading “Disney Sofia the First Toy Range”

Forever 59

“Happy birthday Mom!”

Today you should have turned 62, instead you aren’t here.

Another birthday which hurts. A birthday spent at a graveside. A birthday where I write a card that remains forever sealed, ask a florist which flowers will be best for a grave and another birthday that is anything but happy.

This is the third birthday of yours where I’ve not been able to text you at the crink of crook. The third where I haven’t agonised and struggled over what to buy the most difficult person in the world to buy for! Three birthdays without you. It’s like some morbid tally chart and the saddest part? We aren’t going to reach a number and it’ll change. No. There will be no other birthday ever where I get all these things back. We won’t go out for a meal again all together to celebrate ; there will always one space missing at the table .

No matter what, I will still always write your birthday on our calendars, for the 16th September will forever be etched on my mind. This is one day that is just YOU. Not like the anniversary of your death, that is a shitty date that shouldn’t bear any significance in our lives – but it does. And that date has a big black cloud draped all over the whole month of April. There is absolutely nothing to celebrate about that day. But today should be different. 

I said to Charlie it was your 62nd birthday and he said “but she was 59?” he couldn’t process it all. You will forever be 59. You’ll never get wrinkly and grey. You’ll never deteriorate and fade away. You’ll always be the fit and healthy 59 year old, who had the most wicked dry sense oif humour and the most selfless caring person I knew. I am glad that that is your lasting memory in all our minds instead of becoming so frail and so ill. You not only were the best person I knew, but the bloody strongest. I am cut from the best cloth, from you.

Wherever you are, I love you. We all miss you so much. I could wish forever that you were here with us, but I now know that will get me nowhere. Happy birthday Mom. All your babies miss you so very, very much.

B xx



Why We All Need Mum Mates

As soon as you pee in your hand that little white stick and the word PREGNANT pops up, your whole life is about to change. As you wave a pee soaked stick around screaming, the enormity of what is about to happen really isn’t top of the list, as your brain goes into overdrive about due dates, pushchairs, maternity leave, the gender, if it’ll inherit it’s Dads big nose…  What you don’t bargain for is five years down the line when your stood on the playground and you yourself feel like you’re back at school. Gulp. 

The school playground is a daunting place  whether you’re 5 or 35. It instantly brings back all the feelings you experienced as a kid as you stand holding hands with your little mini me. Not knowing anyone is a scary thought, even so as an adult. September is a period new-ness and where everyone is adjusting and getting to grips with our new surroundings. New faces, new routines; sometimes you just want a familiar face to make it all OK. Step forward your new friends for the foreseeable.

We all need Mom mates.

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